January has this unspoken vibe where we’re apparently supposed to wake up on January 1st as a completely new person.
New habits.
New body.
New mindset.
New schedule.
New personality, maybe?
And if you’re already tired—like bone-deep, nervous-system-fried tired—that pressure doesn’t feel inspiring.
It feels like one more invisible test you’re supposed to pass.
So let me say this clearly, before we go any further:
January is not about becoming someone new.
It’s about removing what isn’t aligned—so your body doesn’t have to live in low-grade survival mode for another year.
This reset isn’t a glow-up.
It’s a settle-in.
No burning your life down.
No reinventing yourself from scratch.
No pretending you suddenly have more capacity than you actually do.
Just honest reflection.
Small, doable shifts.
And real support for the human you already are.
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This Is a Reset That Respects Your Capacity
By the end of this reset, you’ll be able to answer three grounding questions:
What stays?
What goes?
What gets redesigned?
What goes?
What gets redesigned?
And I’ll walk you through a 90-second regulation ritual that helps you respond instead of react—whether that’s with your kids, your calendar, or a text message that makes your stomach drop.
No hustle.
No perfection.
No “try harder.”
Just clarity before momentum.
Step One: Start With What Stays (Because Stability Is Regulating)
Most people start a reset by listing everything they want to change.
I don’t.
Because part of feeling safe is continuity—and your nervous system needs to know you’re not starting from zero.
So we start here:
What is already working—and why is it working for you?
Not what looks good online.
Not what you think you should be doing.
What’s actually supporting you in this season.
The Three “What Stays” Buckets
1. Values That Stay
If you choose one value for the year, it becomes a filter—not a rulebook.
Examples:
- Peace over performance
- Presence over perfection
- Sustainability over burnout
- Connection over control-based parenting
One value helps you say yes and say no—without spiraling or over-explaining.
2. Rhythms That Stay (Not Rigid Schedules)
If strict routines make you want to flip a table (hi, ADHD moms), rhythms are your people.
A rhythm is anything you return to that grounds you, like:
- Family dinners
- A bedtime routine that actually protects sleep
- Slow mornings
- A weekly reset
- One stabilizing habit you don’t have to overthink
Even one rhythm creates safety in a chaotic life.
3. Relationships That Stay
Healthy relationships feel like:
- Mutual care
- Safety
- Honesty
- Laughter
- Enough ease to exhale
If you don’t have many right now, that’s not a moral failure—it’s information. Data that helps you decide what kind of support you want to build next.
Mini reset prompt:
This year, I’m keeping ___ because ___.
This year, I’m keeping ___ because ___.
What you keep matters—because sustainability only works when it includes the parts of you that are already wise.
Step Two: Gently Name What Gets to Go
This part can feel tender, because moms don’t just carry tasks—we carry expectations, roles, and emotional labor no one ever asked us if we wanted.
So instead of a dramatic “I’m quitting everything” moment, try this question:
What am I carrying that I don’t want to carry anymore?
Your body usually answers first:
- Resentment
- Dread
- Tight chest
- Constant rushing
- Irritability
- Numb scrolling at night
That’s not laziness.
That’s misalignment.
That’s misalignment.
The Three “What Goes” Buckets
1. Obligations That Aren’t Yours
The shoulds.
The inherited roles.
The unspoken agreements you never consented to.
This is where you practice saying:
“I’m not available for that anymore.”
You can appreciate what it once gave you—and still release it.
2. Unrealistic Expectations
Let’s be honest:
What we call “a lack of discipline” is usually just unrealistic expectations wearing a trench coat.
Like:
- Expecting yourself to function on no sleep
- Expecting a spotless house with small kids
- Expecting your body not to change
- Expecting emotions to never spill over
Say this with me if you need to:
You don’t need a better personality.
You don’t need more discipline.
You need a better plan.
You don’t need a better personality.
You don’t need more discipline.
You need a better plan.
You’re allowed to have a human life.
3. Patterns That Keep You Stuck
The ones that feel automatic now:
- People-pleasing
- Over-explaining
- Overcommitting
- Pushing until you crash
- Reacting instead of responding
Pick one pattern. Not ten.
Change happens faster with one small interrupt repeated consistently—not with more effort.
Mini reset prompt:
This year, I’m not ___ anymore.
This year, I’m not ___ anymore.
Whatever comes up first? That’s probably your starting point.
Step Three: Redesign Your Week (Because Calendars Matter)
A supportive week isn’t the one where you do the most.
It’s the one where you recover enough to keep going.
Instead of asking:
“How can I be more productive?”
“How can I be more productive?”
Try:
“How can my week support my capacity?”
“How can my week support my capacity?”
The Four Types of Time Your Week Needs
Think in loose blocks or days:
- Output: work, creating, building
- Connection: play, presence, repair
- Admin: life maintenance
- Recovery: rest, regulation, joy
Most moms live in output + admin and steal recovery in scraps—then wonder why they’re fried.
Recovery isn’t optional. It’s foundational.
The 90-Second Regulation Reset
Before you respond.
Before you react.
Before you fire off the text or raise your voice.
Regulate first.
- Slow your exhales
- Drop your shoulders
- Unclench your jaw
- Let your tongue rest
- Hand on chest, say:
“I’m here. I’m safe. I’m choosing my next step.”
It interrupts urgency and brings you back into choice—especially in moments that used to send you straight to zero-to-100.
One Last Thing Before You Go
This reset is not about becoming who everyone expects you to be.
It’s about building support for who you actually are.
This week, choose one:
- One obligation
- One expectation
- One pattern
- One yes that should’ve been a no
Because removing one misaligned thing creates space.
And space is where peace grows.
Want to take this further?
Grab a notebook (or your notes app) and write:
- What stays
- What goes
- What gets redesigned
One honest choice at a time.
I’ll see you next time on The Reclaimed Woman. 🤎
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