Adoption, Grief, and Giraffes: A Deep, Honest Conversation with Jessica Mandile

Welcome back to Heartcore Home, the podcast for moms who are unlearning, healing, and just trying not to lose their minds while raising good humans. In this episode, we’re diving deep with Jessica Mandile—a mom of six, a brand-new nana, and someone whose story will stick with you long after the episode ends.

If you’ve ever wondered what it really takes to adopt a child from another country, how grief shapes motherhood, or what it feels like to be called a “white savior” by internet trolls, you’re going to want to press play.

Who is Jessica?

First, let’s set the scene. Jessica isn’t your typical mom blogger with matching outfits and curated chaos. She’s the real deal. High school sweetheart turned wife at 17, mom at 18, and now raising a whole crew—including a son adopted from Liberia.

Her story is layered. Joy, heartbreak, strength, anxiety, faith—it’s all there. From losing a baby at 37 weeks to walking the long, slow road of international adoption, Jessica shows up with honesty and zero fluff.

The Heartache That Changed Everything

In 2005, Jessica was pregnant with her second child. At 37 weeks, the baby stopped moving. She delivered a stillborn daughter—something she describes as the hardest trial she’s ever walked through.

That kind of loss doesn’t just end. It shapes you. It’s the kind of grief that sneaks into all the corners of motherhood. And it’s also the reason she approaches family-building with a level of thoughtfulness that’s rare. She's lived what most people can’t imagine. And she kept going.

The Unexpected Road to Adoption

Jessica always knew she wanted to adopt. Like since she was five. We’re talking back when most kids are dreaming about ponies, she was thinking about how to bring another child into her home. That desire sat with her through her early marriage and parenting years—until she finally said, “If I don’t at least try, I’ll regret it my whole life.”

So they started looking into adoption.

But the process wasn’t easy—or quick. They were denied by South Africa because they had “too many kids.” (Yes, that’s actually a rule.) Other countries were closed off to Americans due to adoption trafficking concerns. Eventually, they landed on Liberia—partly because the door opened, but also because it felt… right.

And here’s where the giraffes come in. After their stillborn daughter passed, the hospital gave them a stuffed giraffe. That giraffe became a symbol of hope and healing for their family. And guess what country has giraffes as part of its heartbeat? Africa. It was one more nudge from the universe (or God, as Jessica would say) that this was the right move.

Waiting—and Waiting Some More

Let’s talk timelines. They started the process in April 2019. They didn’t get matched until April 2021. That’s two years of paperwork, prayer, and second-guessing everything.

The waiting was brutal. Not because they were impatient—but because when you’ve already felt the sting of loss, the not-knowing cuts deeper. Still, Jessica held on. She journaled. She posted updates on Instagram. And she leaned hard on her faith.

When they finally got matched with a little boy named Foday, something surprising happened: she didn’t immediately feel that “this is my child” moment. No lightning bolt. No music swelling in the background.

And that messed with her a bit—because that’s what the movies tell you it should feel like, right?

But real life isn’t a movie. She took her time. She prayed. Talked to her kids. Then her daughter called one morning after a vivid dream that they brought him home—and everything clicked into place.

“I Don’t Want Him to Be a Stranger in His Own Story”

When it came time to travel to Liberia, they made a bold decision: bring the whole family. All of them. Every kid. Because Jessica didn’t want to come home and try to explain where their new brother came from through photos or stories. She wanted her kids to see it. To walk his streets. To feel his world.

And that month in Liberia? It was life-changing.

No friends. No school drop-offs. No hustle. Just them—getting to know the newest member of their family without distractions. By the time they came back, he wasn’t a stranger. He knew exactly who his people were.

What People Don’t Talk About

Let’s be real—adoption isn’t always wrapped in rainbows. Especially when race enters the picture.

Jessica and her husband, both white, adopted a Black son. And yep, the internet had opinions. Accusations of savior complexes. Comments about hair and skincare routines. People literally critiqued how she washed his hair in a sink.

But Jessica’s not here to prove anything to anyone. She’s here to raise her son. Love him. Protect him. And yes, screw up and learn and get better along the way. Like any mom would.

Another myth? That adoption is always too expensive. Jessica breaks that down. While domestic adoption can cost $60K+ upfront, international adoption tends to be broken up into chunks. They used grants, did fundraisers, and made it work—without being wealthy.

The Transition: What Nobody Prepares You For

Let’s talk tantrums. Because when Benson came home, he had some epic ones. We’re talking full-blown, inconsolable, next-level meltdowns.

And that tested Jessica in a way she didn’t expect. Because in her house, disrespect isn’t tolerated. But how do you define disrespect when a child has lived in an orphanage for nearly a year? When he doesn’t speak the same version of English? When his brain is still scanning for safety signals?

That’s where Jessica had to grow too. To get curious instead of angry. To realize that this wasn’t about discipline—it was about trauma. And learning to meet her son where he was.

It’s Not Always Easy—But It’s Always Worth It

Here’s the truth: adoption is hard. So is grief. So is motherhood. But Jessica’s story reminds us that it’s also beautiful. Messy, yes—but sacred.

She didn’t give up when it took years. She didn’t give in to the trolls. She didn’t pretend it was perfect. She just showed up. Over and over again.

And the bond she has with her son now? It didn’t come from a movie moment. It came from consistency, love, and time.

What Jessica Wants You to Know

If you’re in the thick of waiting…
If you’re wondering if adoption is for you…
If you’re scared the bond won’t come or the money won’t show up…

Here’s what she’d say: Don’t let fear win. Write things down. Lean into your faith. The money comes when it’s supposed to. The connection builds. And yes—it’s all worth it.

Connect with Jessica

You can follow Jessica on Instagram at @jessicamandile, where she shares the real behind-the-scenes of her family life, her adoption journey, and what it means to raise a multicultural crew in a mostly white town.