Beyond Borders: The Heart and Science of Parenting with Rima Elahi-Syed

Parenting is hard. Parenting in a culture that isn’t your own? That’s a whole different beast. You’re not just raising kids—you’re navigating traditions, expectations, and norms that may feel completely foreign. It’s like trying to cook a meal without knowing half the ingredients in the kitchen.

But here’s the thing: just because it’s hard doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

I had the chance to sit down with Rima, a parenting coach and expat mom who has spent the last 20 years raising kids across different cultures. Her journey from London to New Jersey to Geneva has given her a front-row seat to the challenges of parenting beyond borders—and she’s got wisdom to share. This conversation wasn’t about perfection or parenting hacks; it was about real talk, real struggles, and real solutions.

One of the first things Rima made clear? There is no single "right way" to parent—especially when you're raising kids in a different culture than the one you grew up in.

"I think one of the biggest traps we fall into is believing there’s a perfect formula," she said. "But parenting isn’t a science experiment. It’s human, messy, and deeply cultural. What works in one country might not make sense in another. And that’s okay."

This is a big one. It’s easy to feel like we’re failing when our parenting style doesn’t align with what’s considered "normal" where we live. Maybe your home country values independence, but the culture you’re in prioritizes community and obedience. Maybe discipline looks different. Maybe expectations for kids are higher or lower. The key? Adapt without losing yourself. You can respect cultural norms while still holding onto your core values as a parent.

Let’s be honest: parenting can feel isolating even when you’re surrounded by friends and family. But when you’re far from home, it can be next-level lonely.

"I see so many parents struggling with guilt and doubt," Rima shared. "Am I giving my kids enough of my own culture? Am I helping them fit into this new one? Will they feel like they belong anywhere? It’s exhausting."

If you’ve ever felt that way, you’re not alone. And if you haven’t? Give it time.

Raising kids in a different culture forces you to make tough calls—ones your parents and grandparents never had to make. It’s okay to grieve the loss of familiarity. It’s okay to feel unsteady. But remember: your kids are watching. They’re learning from how you handle uncertainty. When you embrace the unknown with curiosity instead of fear, they will too.

So, how do you actually do this? How do you raise kids in a way that honors both where you come from and where you are? Here’s what Rima had to say:

"Your home is its own little world," Rima said. "It’s where you get to decide what values matter most."

Maybe that means you celebrate holidays from your home country. Maybe it means speaking your native language at home. Maybe it’s as simple as holding onto the little traditions—Friday night dinners, bedtime stories, the way you express love. Whatever it is, give your kids something solid to stand on.

No, not just language—though that’s important, too. Teach your kids that they can exist in multiple spaces at once. They can honor their roots while adapting to new surroundings.

"One of the best gifts you can give your child is cultural flexibility," Rima explained. "Help them understand that different doesn’t mean wrong. It just means different."

This means modeling respect. It means having open conversations about why things are done a certain way. It means helping them navigate the world with an open mind instead of fear.

You need a support system. Full stop.

"You don’t have to do this alone," Rima emphasized. "Find other parents who get it. Whether it’s an expat group, an online forum, or just one good friend—it makes a difference."

This is crucial. Feeling like the odd one out can wear you down. Surround yourself with people who remind you that you’re not alone in this.

Parenting is hard no matter where you are. Some days, you’ll crush it. Other days, you’ll feel like you’re barely holding it together. Both are normal.

"The goal isn’t to be a perfect parent. It’s to be a present one," Rima reminded. "Your kids don’t need you to have all the answers. They just need to know you’re in it with them."

So, let go of the guilt. Give yourself permission to figure things out as you go. You’re doing better than you think.

Parenting beyond borders isn’t easy, but it’s also an incredible gift. Your kids are growing up with a worldview that many people never get. They’re learning adaptability, resilience, and empathy just by living their daily lives. That’s something to be proud of.

So, to the parents out there feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just plain tired—you’re not alone. Keep showing up. Keep doing your best. And remember: there is no perfect way to do this. There’s only the way that works for you and your family.

You’ve got this.