In this blog post, we’ll explore how toxic parenting affects your mindset, how to heal while raising children, and practical strategies to ensure your kids grow up in a healthier environment than you did. If you’ve ever felt triggered by your child’s emotions, struggled with guilt, or found yourself repeating behaviors you swore you’d never mimic—this is for you.
What is a Toxic Parent?
A toxic parent isn’t just someone who was strict or set firm rules. Toxic parenting involves behaviors that are emotionally damaging and manipulative, often leading to lifelong struggles with self-worth, anxiety, and emotional regulation. Some common traits of toxic parents include:
- Dismissing or invalidating your feelings
- Using guilt, fear, or manipulation to control you
- Explosive anger and making you responsible for their emotions
- Ignoring or neglecting emotional needs
- Making love feel conditional on performance or obedience
If any of these sound familiar, it’s important to acknowledge that your childhood experiences were real and had an impact on you. You’re not overreacting, and you’re not alone.
How Toxic Parenting Affects You as a Parent
Even if you swore you’d never be like your parents, their behaviors can still show up in your own parenting—especially in high-stress moments. You might notice yourself:
- Doubting your parenting decisions and overanalyzing every choice
- Feeling overwhelmed by your child’s big emotions because you weren’t allowed to express your own
- Struggling with perfectionism and guilt, feeling like you need to be a “perfect” mom
- Overcompensating by giving your kids everything you never had
- Shutting down emotionally when parenting becomes too overwhelming
The good news? The fact that you’re aware of these patterns means you’re already breaking the cycle. Many people never even recognize these behaviors, but you have the self-awareness to make changes—and that’s powerful.
Steps to Healing While Raising Kids
Healing from toxic parenting is a journey, not a destination. Here are some actionable steps to help you heal while showing up as the parent you want to be.
1. Acknowledge & Validate Your Feelings
Your experiences were real, and they shaped who you are today. Healing starts with giving yourself permission to feel what you feel—without gaslighting yourself or making excuses for your parents. If it hurt you, it mattered.
2. Reparent Yourself
Reparenting means giving yourself the love, validation, and support you didn’t receive as a child. Ask yourself:
- What did I need as a child that I didn’t get?
- How can I give that to myself now?
- How can I provide that for my children?
If your parents dismissed your feelings, practice validating your own emotions. If you were never comforted, start offering yourself self-compassion. The more you heal your inner child, the more present and responsive you can be with your own kids.
3. Regulate Your Nervous System
Childhood trauma keeps your nervous system in survival mode, making it easy to react impulsively when triggered. The key is learning to self-regulate so you can respond instead of reacting.
Try:
- Deep breathing exercises (like box breathing or belly breathing)
- Taking an “empowered pause” before reacting
- Placing a hand on your heart and reminding yourself, “I am safe. I am in control.”
- Grounding techniques like touching something cold, counting objects, or listening to calming music
When you learn to regulate yourself, you can help your children do the same.
4. Teach Emotional Intelligence to Your Kids
Breaking the cycle means teaching your kids what you weren’t taught. Instead of shutting down their emotions like your parents may have done, help them navigate their feelings in a healthy way.
- Validate their emotions (“It’s okay to be sad. I’m here for you.”)
- Teach them words for their feelings (“It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated.”)
- Model self-regulation (“I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a deep breath before I respond.”)
By giving your children emotional intelligence skills, you’re ensuring they won’t have to heal the same way you do.
5. Repair After Mistakes
You will make mistakes. That’s a fact. But the key to breaking the cycle isn’t being a perfect parent—it’s knowing how to repair when things go wrong.
- Apologize when necessary (“I’m sorry I yelled. That wasn’t okay.”)
- Show your child that mistakes are part of learning (“I got frustrated, but I’m working on being more patient.”)
- Model accountability and growth
Your children don’t need perfection—they need presence.
6. Set Boundaries with Toxic Parents
If your toxic parent is still in your life, it’s essential to set boundaries to protect your mental health and your children. Remember:
- You don’t owe them access to your children if they’re harmful
- You can set boundaries around communication, visits, and interactions
- Guilt is often a sign of conditioning, not actual wrongdoing
If you choose to stay in contact, enforce boundaries around toxic behaviors. If necessary, going low-contact or no-contact is a valid and healthy option.
Final Thoughts: You Are Enough
Healing from a toxic childhood while raising kids is challenging, but it’s absolutely possible. Every small step you take toward awareness, regulation, and connection is a step toward breaking the cycle for good.
Affirmation for Today:💬 “I am healing. I am breaking cycles. I am enough.”
You don’t have to be a perfect parent to raise emotionally healthy kids—you just need to be present and willing to grow.
Next Steps:
- Listen to the full podcast episode
- Share this post with a fellow parent who might need encouragement.
- Follow me on social media for more tips on cycle-breaking and conscious parenting.
You’ve got this. And I’m cheering for you.
Let’s Get Real for a Second...
If you’ve ever found yourself lying in bed at night running through all the ways you could have been better that day—more patient, more present, more organized—then, first of all, same.
And second? It’s time to let that go.
Because this idea we have of a “good mom”—the one who never loses her cool, always knows the right thing to say, has the perfectly balanced life—is complete bullsh*t.
I said what I said.
And yet, we keep chasing it. We keep measuring ourselves against impossible standards and then wondering why we feel like we’re failing.
So today, we’re breaking this down. We’re talking about:
✅ Why so many of us feel like we’re not enough (hint: it’s not your fault)
✅ The sneaky ways social media, society, and generational patterns mess with our heads
✅ What actually makes a good mom (spoiler: it’s not what you think)
✅ How to drop the guilt and start believing you’re already doing enough
✅ Why so many of us feel like we’re not enough (hint: it’s not your fault)
✅ The sneaky ways social media, society, and generational patterns mess with our heads
✅ What actually makes a good mom (spoiler: it’s not what you think)
✅ How to drop the guilt and start believing you’re already doing enough
Let’s get into it.
Why Do Moms Always Feel Like They’re Failing?
I don’t know a single mom who hasn’t, at some point, wondered:
"Am I doing enough? Am I good enough?"
And the answer is almost always YES, you are.
But we’ve been conditioned to believe otherwise.
1. We Were Raised to Believe Motherhood = Martyrdom
For generations, moms were expected to put everyone else first. Be selfless. Sacrifice. Never complain.
Maybe your mom did everything and never asked for help, so now you feel guilty when you even think about taking a break.
Or maybe your mom struggled, and you promised yourself you’d do better—but now you’re drowning in the pressure of trying to be everything for your kids.
Either way, we inherited this idea that being a “good mom” means running yourself into the ground.
Newsflash: That’s not it.
2. Social Media is a Highlight Reel (And It’s Messing With Your Head)
We know Instagram isn’t real life, but that doesn’t stop us from falling into the comparison trap.
We see moms who:
- Pack gourmet lunches with smiley-face fruit art
- Keep a spotless house while homeschooling four kids
- Plan Pinterest-worthy birthday parties with matching outfits for the whole family
Meanwhile, we’re over here hoping our kids don’t notice we forgot it was Pajama Day at school.
Listen—those perfectly curated feeds? They’re not the full picture. No one is showing their meltdowns (theirs or their kids’). No one is posting their laundry piles, their late-night cries in the bathroom, or the moments when they feel like they’re barely holding it together.
Just because you don’t see the struggle doesn’t mean it’s not there.
3. The ‘Do It All’ Culture is a Lie
Somewhere along the way, “good moms” became synonymous with superhuman.
We’re expected to:
- Work (but not too much, or we’re “neglecting” our kids)
- Stay home (but not lose ourselves in the process)
- Be fully present 24/7 (but also prioritize self-care)
- Have a clean house (but not stress about it)
- Make time for friends, partners, workouts, mental health…
It’s literally impossible to meet all these expectations at once. So we always feel like we’re failing.
But the truth?
You don’t have to do it all to be a good mom. You just have to love your kids and do your best.
So… What Actually Makes a Good Mom?
Let’s break it down.
A good mom is not the one who:
❌ Has endless patience
❌ Never yells or gets overwhelmed
❌ Bakes homemade everything
❌ Keeps a perfectly clean home
❌ Sacrifices herself at all costs
❌ Has endless patience
❌ Never yells or gets overwhelmed
❌ Bakes homemade everything
❌ Keeps a perfectly clean home
❌ Sacrifices herself at all costs
A good mom is the one who:
✅ Loves her kids, even on the hard days
✅ Shows them that mistakes are part of life
✅ Creates a home where they feel safe (not necessarily spotless)
✅ Apologizes when she messes up
✅ Models self-love, boundaries, and resilience
✅ Loves her kids, even on the hard days
✅ Shows them that mistakes are part of life
✅ Creates a home where they feel safe (not necessarily spotless)
✅ Apologizes when she messes up
✅ Models self-love, boundaries, and resilience
Notice the difference?
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being real.
Your kids don’t need a mom who never struggles. They need a mom who shows them how to navigate struggle with grace.
They don’t need a mom who’s always present. They need a mom who teaches them that balance matters.
And they definitely don’t need a mom who loses herself in motherhood. They need a mom who shows them what it looks like to value yourself, too.
How to Finally Drop the Mom Guilt (For Real)
Alright, now that we’ve shattered the ‘perfect mom’ myth, how do we actually feel like we’re enough?
1. Change How You Measure ‘Success’
Instead of judging yourself by what you got done today, ask:
- Did my kids feel loved?
- Did I show up in the best way I could today?
- Am I treating myself with the same kindness I’d want for my kids?
Your worth is not measured in productivity. It’s in presence.
2. Stop Apologizing for Being Human
Did you snap at your kids today? Lose your patience? Have a moment where you wanted to scream into a pillow?
Welcome to motherhood.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing to grow, repair, and keep going.
3. Give Yourself the Same Grace You Give Your Kids
If your child made a mistake, would you tell them they failed? That they’re not enough?
Of course not.
So why do you talk to yourself that way?
Motherhood is a learning curve. You’re allowed to be a work in progress.
Final Thoughts: You’re Already Enough
So here’s what I need you to take from this:
You don’t have to be the Pinterest mom. You don’t have to be the “cool” mom. You don’t have to be the patient mom.
You just have to be you.
Your kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need a mom who loves them and keeps trying.
And guess what? That’s exactly who you already are.
So the next time you start wondering if you’re enough, remind yourself: I already am.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going!
💬 What’s one way you’re letting go of ‘perfect mom’ pressure?
Loved this episode? Share it with another mama who needs this reminder today. Let’s rewrite the script on motherhood together.
Parenting is hard. Parenting in a culture that isn’t your own? That’s a whole different beast. You’re not just raising kids—you’re navigating traditions, expectations, and norms that may feel completely foreign. It’s like trying to cook a meal without knowing half the ingredients in the kitchen.
But here’s the thing: just because it’s hard doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
I had the chance to sit down with Rima, a parenting coach and expat mom who has spent the last 20 years raising kids across different cultures. Her journey from London to New Jersey to Geneva has given her a front-row seat to the challenges of parenting beyond borders—and she’s got wisdom to share. This conversation wasn’t about perfection or parenting hacks; it was about real talk, real struggles, and real solutions.
The Myth of the "Right Way" to Parent
One of the first things Rima made clear? There is no single "right way" to parent—especially when you're raising kids in a different culture than the one you grew up in.
"I think one of the biggest traps we fall into is believing there’s a perfect formula," she said. "But parenting isn’t a science experiment. It’s human, messy, and deeply cultural. What works in one country might not make sense in another. And that’s okay."
This is a big one. It’s easy to feel like we’re failing when our parenting style doesn’t align with what’s considered "normal" where we live. Maybe your home country values independence, but the culture you’re in prioritizes community and obedience. Maybe discipline looks different. Maybe expectations for kids are higher or lower. The key? Adapt without losing yourself. You can respect cultural norms while still holding onto your core values as a parent.
The Emotional Toll of Raising Kids in a Foreign Land
Let’s be honest: parenting can feel isolating even when you’re surrounded by friends and family. But when you’re far from home, it can be next-level lonely.
"I see so many parents struggling with guilt and doubt," Rima shared. "Am I giving my kids enough of my own culture? Am I helping them fit into this new one? Will they feel like they belong anywhere? It’s exhausting."
If you’ve ever felt that way, you’re not alone. And if you haven’t? Give it time.
Raising kids in a different culture forces you to make tough calls—ones your parents and grandparents never had to make. It’s okay to grieve the loss of familiarity. It’s okay to feel unsteady. But remember: your kids are watching. They’re learning from how you handle uncertainty. When you embrace the unknown with curiosity instead of fear, they will too.
Practical Advice for Parenting Across Cultures
So, how do you actually do this? How do you raise kids in a way that honors both where you come from and where you are? Here’s what Rima had to say:
1. Create a Home Culture
"Your home is its own little world," Rima said. "It’s where you get to decide what values matter most."
Maybe that means you celebrate holidays from your home country. Maybe it means speaking your native language at home. Maybe it’s as simple as holding onto the little traditions—Friday night dinners, bedtime stories, the way you express love. Whatever it is, give your kids something solid to stand on.
2. Teach Them to Code-Switch
No, not just language—though that’s important, too. Teach your kids that they can exist in multiple spaces at once. They can honor their roots while adapting to new surroundings.
"One of the best gifts you can give your child is cultural flexibility," Rima explained. "Help them understand that different doesn’t mean wrong. It just means different."
This means modeling respect. It means having open conversations about why things are done a certain way. It means helping them navigate the world with an open mind instead of fear.
3. Find Your People
You need a support system. Full stop.
"You don’t have to do this alone," Rima emphasized. "Find other parents who get it. Whether it’s an expat group, an online forum, or just one good friend—it makes a difference."
This is crucial. Feeling like the odd one out can wear you down. Surround yourself with people who remind you that you’re not alone in this.
4. Give Yourself Grace
Parenting is hard no matter where you are. Some days, you’ll crush it. Other days, you’ll feel like you’re barely holding it together. Both are normal.
"The goal isn’t to be a perfect parent. It’s to be a present one," Rima reminded. "Your kids don’t need you to have all the answers. They just need to know you’re in it with them."
So, let go of the guilt. Give yourself permission to figure things out as you go. You’re doing better than you think.
Parenting beyond borders isn’t easy, but it’s also an incredible gift. Your kids are growing up with a worldview that many people never get. They’re learning adaptability, resilience, and empathy just by living their daily lives. That’s something to be proud of.
So, to the parents out there feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just plain tired—you’re not alone. Keep showing up. Keep doing your best. And remember: there is no perfect way to do this. There’s only the way that works for you and your family.
You’ve got this.
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Parenting isn’t just about raising kids—it’s about raising ourselves, too. The way we show up, the things we say (or don’t say), and even the thoughts running through our heads all play a role in how we parent. And if you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a cycle of yelling, guilt, or frustration, you’re not alone.
In this episode, I sat down with Michelle Tovar, a longtime Montessori teacher turned parent coach, and we had one of those conversations—the kind that makes you rethink the stories you’ve been telling yourself about parenting. Michelle helps parents break generational patterns, stop reacting from stress, and start leading with confidence and connection.
How Our Mindset Shapes Our Parenting
One of the biggest takeaways from this conversation? Parenting struggles are almost never about the kids. They’re about us—our nervous systems, our beliefs, our unresolved stuff from childhood that sneaks into how we react.
Michelle and I talked about those moments when our patience wears thin—when we feel like our kids just won’t listen, or when we snap and immediately feel that wave of guilt. What if those moments weren’t proof that we’re failing? What if they were actually invitations to pause, check in with ourselves, and rewrite the story we’re telling?
Because here’s the thing: Our nervous system doesn’t know the difference between a toddler’s tantrum and an actual crisis. If we grew up in homes where yelling meant danger, or where we felt unheard, our bodies might react as if our child’s big feelings are a threat. But they’re not.
From Reacting to Responding
Michelle shared something that really hit home: We don’t have to be perfect to be great parents. What matters most is how we repair, how we reconnect, and how we show our kids that it’s safe to have big feelings.
Some key shifts we discussed:
✅ Instead of “Why won’t they just listen?” → Try “What’s making this so hard for them right now?”
✅ Instead of “I’m failing because I lost my temper.” → Try “This is a sign I need a break, not a sign I’m a bad parent.”
✅ Instead of “They’re being difficult.” → Try “They’re having a hard time, not giving me a hard time.”
✅ Instead of “Why won’t they just listen?” → Try “What’s making this so hard for them right now?”
✅ Instead of “I’m failing because I lost my temper.” → Try “This is a sign I need a break, not a sign I’m a bad parent.”
✅ Instead of “They’re being difficult.” → Try “They’re having a hard time, not giving me a hard time.”
When we change the way we see a situation, we change the way we respond to it. And when we shift from reacting to leading, everything changes.
Breaking Free from the Guilt Loop
So many of us carry guilt—guilt about the times we’ve yelled, the times we weren’t fully present, the times we let exhaustion take over. But guilt doesn’t have to be a weight we carry. It can be a signal—a gentle nudge that says, “Hey, let’s do this differently next time.”
Michelle talked about the power of self-compassion in parenting. If we want our kids to grow up feeling loved even when they mess up, we need to show ourselves that same grace.
What If Parenting Felt Lighter?
Imagine parenting without the pressure of being perfect. Imagine seeing those tough moments as chances to connect instead of proof that you’re messing up. That’s the shift Michelle is helping parents make—moving from control and frustration to trust and connection.
If this conversation resonated with you, take a deep breath and remember: You are already a good parent. The fact that you care enough to learn and grow? That’s proof
Let me know your biggest takeaway! What’s one mindset shift you’re working on in your parenting right now? Leave a comment or message me on Instagram—I’d love to hear from you!
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Parenting is messy, beautiful, and absolutely overwhelming at times. It’s not about nailing perfection. It’s about showing up, trying, and figuring out how to grow alongside your kids.
At the heart of it all?
It’s your values—the things that matter most to your family and guide your decisions, even in the chaos.
The Power of Values in Parenting
If you’ve ever felt like you’re just winging it and hoping for the best (hello, bedtime negotiations!), aligning your parenting with your core values can be a game changer. Values like kindness, resilience, or honesty can give your family a kind of anchor—something solid to hold onto when things feel wobbly. It’s not to make you rigid; but to guide you in knowing what’s important and letting that shape how you show up every day.
Think about it: When your kid has a meltdown in the cereal aisle, what guides your response?
Is it patience? Empathy? Just trying not to lose your mind?
Whatever it is, when you ground yourself in your values, you create consistency and connection. And let’s be real, sometimes consistency just means taking a deep breath and reminding yourself not to say the thing you’ll regret later.
Tackling the Hard Stuff (Without Losing Your Sh*t)
We know it isn’t all snuggles and cute crafts. It’s literally finding our way in the impossible—like keeping your cool when your toddler paints the wall with the red shampoo ( yep that happened) or when your teen gives you the silent treatment for the third day in a row.
It’s hard, but understanding your own triggers and patterns can make it easier to handle those moments without snapping (or at least snapping less).
Here’s the thing: so much of motherhood is about rewiring your own brain while trying to help your kids wire theirs. Reflecting on your own upbringing, noticing where you’re stuck in old cycles, and finding ways to break free—it’s all part of the job. And when you lean on tools like therapy, coaching, or even just venting (in a healthy way) to a friend, you’re not only helping yourself; you’re modeling resilience and self-awareness for your kids.
Little Moments, Big Impact
It’s not the grand gestures that create connection. It’s the little things—the bedtime stories, the silly dances in the kitchen, or the way you really listen when your kid tells you about their imaginary friend’s “career issues.” These small, intentional moments build trust and connection over time. They’re the glue that holds it all together.
Rituals are magic. A weekly pizza night or bedtime chat can become the thing your family looks forward to the most. And when life gets hectic, those rituals remind you to pause, breathe, and just be present. Plus, celebrating the small wins—like getting through a meal without a meltdown—can shift the vibe in your home from “survival mode” to “hey, we’re actually doing okay.”
“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
— Robert Breault
Breaking Cycles, Building Something New
Let’s talk about the hard stuff—breaking generational cycles. It’s no small feat to undo the patterns you grew up with, especially when they sneak up on you in the heat of the moment. But the good news? Every small step you take toward healing creates a ripple effect for your family.
Whether it’s unlearning reactive habits, practicing self-compassion, or getting curious about why certain things trigger you, this work is worth it.
You’re not just changing your family’s story—you’re teaching your kids what growth looks like. And honestly, they’re watching you way more closely than they’re listening to you. (Ouch, right?)
A Legacy of Connection
At the end of the day, parenting isn’t about getting it all right. It’s about creating a home where your kids feel seen, safe, and loved. When you parent with purpose, you’re not just raising kids—you’re building a legacy of connection and compassion that lasts long after the toys are packed away and the laundry is (mostly) done.
So, start small. Pick one value to focus on this week. Notice how it shifts things in your family dynamic. And don’t forget to give yourself grace—this whole parenting thing is a marathon, not a sprint. You’re doing better than you think.
Not sure what your core values are? Take this fun quiz to get an idea
Want more ideas for parenting with purpose? Check out resources like The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
What values are guiding your parenting right now? Let me know—I’d love to hear what’s working for you. And if you’re still figuring it out, that’s okay too. We’re all in this together.
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Ever feel like you're walking on eggshells with your kid? That even the most loving limits send them into a complete meltdown? You might have a PDA child on your hands. PDA stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, and it's a whole different ball game. These kids aren't just strong-willed; their nervous systems are hardwired for equality. They experience even minor demands as a life-or-death threat.
Our guest, Amanda Rodriguez, a certified parent coach and fellow mama, is here to share her incredible journey and insights. Get ready for some real talk, a few "holy shit" moments, and practical tips to navigate the unique challenges of parenting a PDA kiddo.
What is PDA?
PDA, or Pathological Demand Avoidance, is a unique kind of neurodivergence. These kiddos aren't just your average strong-willed toddlers. Their nervous systems are on high alert, making even the smallest demands feel like a dire situation. Imagine feeling like you're constantly under attack - that's what it's like for a PDA child. They're not being defiant or manipulative; they're reacting to a threat response deep within their brains.
The Struggles Are Real
Amanda doesn't sugarcoat the challenges of parenting a PDA child. She's been there, done that, and has the WTF moments to prove it. From aggression to meltdowns, she's experienced the emotional rollercoaster that comes with PDA parenting. She's not afraid to share the tough times, the "what am I doing wrong?" feelings, and the guilt that can come with it all.
Ditch the Shoulds and Embrace the Chaos
One of the biggest lessons Amanda learned is to ditch the "shoulds." Forget about comparing your kid to others or beating yourself up for not having it all figured out. Every PDA child is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Parenting a PDA child is messy, unpredictable, and often exhausting. But it's also incredibly rewarding. Amanda encourages parents to embrace the chaos, find humor in the challenges, and celebrate the unique strengths of their PDA kids.
Shift Your Language, Change the Game
Amanda discovered that even subtle shifts in language can make a huge difference with PDA kids. Instead of giving direct commands, try declarative language or asking questions to empower your child. For example, instead of saying, "Go put your shoes on," try, "I wonder what you need on your feet before we leave." It's a small change that can prevent a major meltdown.
You don’t have to do this by yourself
Choosing to see beneath your child’s behaviors and meet them where they are is a radical act of unconditional love. Parenting a PDA child is a journey of self-discovery & resilience. It's about understanding your child's unique needs and finding ways to support them while staying true to yourself.
It can feel isolating, but you don't have to do it alone. Connect with other parents, find a supportive therapist or coach, and build a community to lean on during the tough times. There's a whole community of parents out there who get it and they are waiting with open arms to carry the heavy with you.
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Until next time, keep rocking that journey!
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As parents, we all face those moments—the ones where it feels like everything is spiraling out of control. Maybe it’s the meltdown in the middle of dinner prep or the sibling argument that just won’t quit. You’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and at the end of your damn rope. But what if I told you that these chaotic moments are actually opportunities?
That’s right. Emotional overwhelm—while messy and frustrating—can be a chance to connect more deeply with your kids and grow as a family. We're going to get into the practical ways you can transform these moments into something meaningful. Stick around, because I’ve also created a cheat sheet to make handling these situations easier—and it’s packed with quick, actionable tips to help you stay grounded.
What is Emotional Overwhelm?
Emotional overwhelm happens when stress, frustration, and exhaustion collide, leaving you barely holding it together. It’s not just about that one moment—it’s often a culmination of unmet needs, unprocessed emotions, and the constant demands of parenting.
Here’s the thing: these moments, as intense as they feel, are an invitation. They’re asking us to pause and decide—do we want to keep passing down our family’s emotional baggage, or do we want to do something different? By understanding the root causes of our overwhelm, we can take the first steps toward handling it with intention.
For example, have you ever snapped at your kid, not because of what they did, but because you were running on fumes? Recognizing what’s really behind the frustration—whether it’s lack of sleep, skipped meals, or too many demands—is the key to managing it more effectively.
The Role of Unprocessed Emotions
Let’s get real—sometimes, it’s not just today’s chaos that’s weighing us down. It’s the emotional junk we’ve been carrying for years. Maybe you grew up in a household where emotions weren’t talked about, or you were taught to suck it up and move on. When we’re overwhelmed, these old patterns can sneak up and take over. Understanding your triggers and giving yourself permission to feel can be a game-changer.
The Impact on Kids
When we’re overwhelmed, it’s not just us who feel it. Our kids pick up on it, too. They’re little emotional sponges, absorbing the energy around them. While it’s okay to have bad days (we all do!), consistently modeling healthy ways to handle tough emotions can teach them invaluable skills. Think of it as breaking the cycle for the next generation.
How to Handle Overwhelm in the Moment
When the chaos hits, these three steps can help you shift from reaction to connection:
Step One: Find Your Grounding
The first thing to do is calm the storm within yourself. This might mean taking deep breaths, stepping outside for a second, or using a simple grounding technique like 5-4-3-2-1. By pausing to collect yourself, you’re better equipped to respond thoughtfully.
Quick Tip: Try the “5-4-3-2-1” method: name five things you see, four you can touch, three you hear, two you smell, and one you taste. It’s like a mental reset button. It’s not magic, but it’ll keep you from losing your shit.
Step Two: Build Emotional Regulation (Slowly)
Teaching emotional regulation starts with modeling it yourself. Acknowledge your feelings out loud—“I’m feeling frustrated”—and encourage your kids to do the same. This helps normalize emotions and shows that it’s okay to feel big feelings.
Emotional regulation doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a muscle that you and your kids build over time. Start with small steps. For instance, if your child is upset, help them name their emotions: “You’re feeling mad because your tower fell down. That’s so frustrating.” Over time, these small acts add up to big changes.
Step Three: Reconnect with Your Kid
Once things have calmed down, focus on repairing and reconnecting. This could be as simple as a shared laugh, a hug, or reading a favorite story together. Reconnection reminds your kid (and yourself) that love and understanding are at the core of your relationship.
Example: When my kid and I are both overwhelmed, I’ll say, “You're going through it today, huh?” Sometimes, we’ll play a quick game like “high five, low five, too slow” to break the tension.
Why Connection Matters
Kids need to feel safe to thrive. When we take the time to reconnect after a hard moment, we’re showing them that they’re loved no matter what. It also gives us a chance to reflect and grow together, strengthening our bond.
A Real-Life Transformation
Here’s a story from Anna, one of the badass moms in my community. She shared this:
“I was having one of those days where everything felt like it was falling apart. My son was melting down because he didn’t get the red cup. Normally, I would’ve snapped, but instead, I took a breath and said, ‘Hey, it’s been a hard day, huh? Do you need a hug?’ He melted into my arms. It wasn’t a perfect day, but that moment made all the difference.”
This is the power of these tools. They’re not about making things perfect; they’re about finding small wins that bring us closer.
Why Small Wins Add Up
Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. Every time you pause instead of yelling, every time you name a feeling, and every time you reconnect after a tough moment, you’re building a foundation of trust and love. These small wins might not feel like much in the moment, but over time, they create a big shift in how your family operates.
Want More Quick Wins?
If you’re ready to handle these tough moments without losing your mind, I’ve got you covered. My Quick Wins for Emotional Moments Cheat Sheet has simple, practical tips to help you:
- Stay grounded when emotions run high
- Connect with your kids in meaningful ways
- Turn tough moments into opportunities for growth
Special Offer: Because you’re here, I’m offering an exclusive discount. Grab your copy today at https://jessicacampbellco.com/marketplace/products/quick-wins-for-emotional-moments-cheat-sheet
You’ve Got This
Parenting is hard as hell, but you’re doing it. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect to make a difference. Even on the hardest days, showing up with intention matters. You’re raising amazing humans, and you’re doing it in a way that feels authentic and loving.
Keep going. Keep growing. And let’s turn those overwhelming moments into something that strengthens your family bond. We’re all in this together.
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Turning Overwhelm into Connection
What is Emotional Overwhelm?
Emotional overwhelm happens when stress, frustration, and exhaustion collide...
Challenging the myth of perfection in motherhood, particularly concerning postpartum anxiety among high-achieving women, is essential for fostering a supportive and compassionate environment for new mothers. Motherhood is often romanticized as an utterly joyful and fulfilling experience, yet many women, especially those familiar with high levels of career success, face unique pressures and mental health challenges. By identifying the signs of postpartum anxiety and understanding the role of societal expectations, women can navigate this demanding period with more grace and support. This discussion explores the complexities of perinatal mental health, examines strategies for coping with parenting stress, and provides insights into building resilience and support networks for new mothers. Our objective is to motivate personal growth and empower mothers to embark on their journey with confidence and optimism.
Understanding Postpartum Anxiety
Defining Postpartum Versus Regular Anxiety
Postpartum anxiety, often eclipsed by postpartum depression, is a significant concern for new mothers, particularly high-achieving women. Unlike regular anxiety, postpartum anxiety arises during pregnancy or after childbirth and may manifest new or exacerbate existing anxiety conditions. Its symptoms mirror regular anxiety, including excessive worry, restlessness, and physical symptoms like a racing heart. However, postpartum anxiety is specifically linked to concerns about the baby's health, the mother's caregiving abilities, and other motherhood-related stressors. Regular anxiety can stem from various unrelated stressors and isn’t confined to a particular life event. Understanding these distinctions is vital for acknowledging postpartum anxiety as a valid and serious condition. Early recognition and intervention are essential to significantly enhance the quality of life for affected mothers, enabling them to navigate motherhood with increased ease and confidence.
Why High-Achieving Women Are Affected
High-achieving women encounter unique challenges when transitioning to motherhood, increasing their susceptibility to postpartum anxiety. These women excel in their careers and manage their lives with precision and control. Motherhood’s unpredictability and demands can disrupt this equilibrium, heightening stress and anxiety. Perfectionism, common among high achievers, can intensify feelings of inadequacy when new mothers fail to meet their own high expectations. Societal pressure to be the "perfect mom" further complicates this burden, amplifying self-doubt and worry. High-achieving women might also hesitate to seek help, fearing it could be perceived as a weakness. Recognizing these factors is essential for providing the appropriate support and resources. By acknowledging the impact of perfectionism and societal expectations, we can help these women embrace imperfection and strike a healthier balance in their new roles as mothers.
The Importance of Perinatal Mental Health
Perinatal mental health involves the emotional and psychological well-being of women during pregnancy and the postpartum period and is crucial to overall health, significantly impacting both mother and baby’s development. Without adequate attention, issues like postpartum anxiety can go unaddressed, causing long-term consequences for the entire family. Addressing perinatal mental health is vital for several reasons: it aids in the early identification and treatment of mental health conditions, reducing chronic anxiety or depression risks. Moreover, supporting mental health strengthens maternal-infant bonding, creating a nurturing environment for the child’s development. It also empowers mothers to face parenthood challenges, boosting their confidence and resilience. Raising awareness and offering resources for perinatal mental health can lead to better outcomes, ensuring new mothers receive the care and support they need during this critical time.
Personal Stories and Insight
Sonya Belletti's Journey Through Anxiety
Sonya Belletti, an ICF-certified life coach and seasoned therapist, navigated the complexities of perinatal and postpartum anxiety, often without realizing her predicament. It wasn’t until her children were around ten years old that she pieced together her experiences, recognizing the symptoms she had endured. During her pregnancies, Sonya was consumed by the demands of motherhood and career, juggling responsibilities while striving for excellence. This intense pressure manifested as hyper-control over her environment, masking underlying anxiety. Her journey highlights the importance of awareness and support networks in managing mental health. Sonya’s story underscores the power of community and professional support, demonstrating that even those who appear to have it all together can benefit from understanding and caring networks. Her experience fuels her passion for helping other mothers navigate similar challenges.
Lessons Learned from Overcoming Anxiety
Sonya Belletti’s journey through postpartum anxiety imparts valuable lessons that resonate with many mothers facing similar challenges. A key takeaway is recognizing and accepting that it’s okay not to be perfect. Embracing imperfections can alleviate undue pressure on mothers, fostering a more nurturing environment for both mother and child. Another lesson is the importance of community and support networks. Sonya’s experience highlights the necessity of having a strong support system, whether family, friends, or professional help, to provide guidance and a space to express emotions without judgment. Her story also underscores the importance of self-awareness and seeking help when necessary. Understanding that mental health is as crucial as physical health encourages mothers to prioritize their well-being. Through this journey, Sonya learned to balance her roles and embrace motherhood with greater confidence and resilience.
The Role of Support Networks in Healing
Support networks play a vital role in the healing journey for mothers experiencing postpartum anxiety. For many, like Sonya Belletti, these networks are a lifeline, offering emotional support, practical help, and a sense of community. Being surrounded by understanding individuals can alleviate feelings of isolation and self-doubt often associated with postpartum anxiety. Family members, friends, and professional support groups create a nurturing environment where mothers feel safe to express vulnerabilities and seek advice. These networks are also crucial in recognizing signs of anxiety that may go unnoticed by the individual herself, facilitating early intervention and support. Additionally, professional resources, such as therapists and support groups, offer specialized guidance tailored to perinatal mental health. By engaging with a support network, mothers can share experiences, gain insights from others who have faced similar challenges, and build resilience. Ultimately, these connections empower mothers to navigate motherhood with greater confidence and well-being.
Breaking Down Societal Expectations
The Myth of the Perfect Mom
The myth of the perfect mom is a pervasive societal expectation that places undue pressure on new mothers, contributing to anxiety and stress. This myth suggests that mothers must excel in all aspects—nurturing children, managing households, and maintaining careers—all with effortless grace. Such unrealistic standards can lead to feelings of inadequacy and guilt when mothers inevitably fall short. In reality, perfection in motherhood is unattainable and unnecessary. Each mother’s journey is unique, and the notion of a perfect mom overlooks the diverse experiences and challenges each woman faces. Embracing imperfection allows mothers to focus on what truly matters: the well-being and happiness of their families. By rejecting societal pressures and setting realistic expectations, mothers can foster a healthier and more supportive environment for themselves and their children. It’s time to celebrate the beauty of authenticity in motherhood, where love and connection outweigh the pursuit of perfection.
The Impact of Societal Pressures
Societal pressures significantly impact new mothers, often exacerbating postpartum anxiety and stress. These pressures manifest through media portrayals of idyllic family life and unsolicited advice from well-meaning relatives. High-achieving women, in particular, may feel these expectations more acutely, as they are used to meeting and exceeding standards in their professional lives. The transition to motherhood, however, is fraught with unpredictability and challenges that don’t always align with these norms. Such pressures can lead to feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and self-doubt as mothers struggle to conform to unrealistic ideals. This relentless pursuit of perfection can overshadow the joys of motherhood, preventing women from fully embracing their new roles. Recognizing and addressing these societal pressures is crucial for new mothers to cultivate healthy self-expectations and develop a supportive network that values authenticity and well-being over perfection.
Empowering Women to Share Their Stories
Empowering women to share their stories is a powerful tool in dismantling societal expectations and fostering a supportive community for mothers. By openly discussing their experiences, women can challenge the unrealistic ideals of motherhood and create a more authentic narrative. Sharing stories helps normalize the struggles many face, validating feelings and reducing stigma around postpartum anxiety and mental health challenges. It also allows mothers to connect, learn from each other, and build resilience through shared experiences. Platforms that encourage storytelling—such as support groups, blogs, and social media communities—provide safe spaces for women to express themselves without judgment. These narratives can inspire others to seek help, foster empathy, and initiate meaningful conversations about the realities of motherhood. By embracing vulnerability and honesty, women can redefine what it means to be a mother, focusing on personal growth and well-being rather than unattainable perfection.
Navigating Work-Life Balance
Strategies for High-Performing Women
For high-performing women, balancing career demands and motherhood can be particularly challenging. However, implementing effective strategies can help manage these pressures and promote a healthier work-life balance. Prioritizing tasks is essential: identify the most critical tasks and delegate or defer less urgent ones. Setting clear boundaries between work and home life can minimize stress, allowing mothers to be fully present in each role. Embracing flexibility, such as remote work or flexible hours, can also alleviate daily pressures. Additionally, seeking support from mentors or peers familiar with the challenges of high-achieving women can provide valuable insights and encouragement. Integrating self-care into daily routines, whether through exercise, mindfulness, or simply taking time to unwind, is crucial. By acknowledging their limits and practicing self-compassion, high-performing women can maintain professional success while nurturing their well-being and family life, creating a fulfilling and sustainable balance.
Communicating Needs in the Workplace
Effectively communicating needs in the workplace is crucial for mothers striving to achieve a work-life balance. Open dialogue with employers about family responsibilities can foster understanding and lead to supportive arrangements. When discussing needs, presenting clear, realistic solutions that accommodate both personal and professional obligations is helpful. This might involve negotiating flexible work hours, remote work options, or adjusting project deadlines. Transparency about constraints and priorities ensures that colleagues and supervisors are aware of any limitations, reducing the potential for misunderstandings. Establishing these boundaries aids in stress management and demonstrates a commitment to both roles. Additionally, seeking mentorship from other working mothers can provide guidance and strategies for navigating workplace challenges. By advocating for their needs, mothers can create a more inclusive work environment that respects and supports their dual roles, ultimately contributing to their success and well-being both at home and at work.
Building Resilience and Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Building resilience and developing healthy coping mechanisms are vital for managing the complexities of work-life balance. Mindfulness practices such as meditation or deep breathing exercises can help manage stress and maintain focus. Regular physical activity is an effective way to boost mental and emotional resilience, promoting physical health and providing a constructive outlet for stress. Journaling can offer a space to process emotions and reflect on daily experiences. Setting aside time for hobbies and activities that bring joy can rejuvenate the mind and enhance overall well-being. Cultivating a supportive network of friends, family, and colleagues provides emotional support and practical advice. Engaging in regular self-reflection helps identify personal strengths and areas for growth, boosting confidence. By integrating these strategies into daily routines, women can strengthen their resilience, enabling them to navigate the demands of work and family life with greater ease and fulfillment.
Supporting New Mothers
How Partners Can Provide Support
Partners play a crucial role in supporting new mothers through the challenges of postpartum anxiety and the transition into motherhood. Being an empathetic listener is one of the most vital ways partners can help, providing a safe space for mothers to express their feelings and concerns without fear of judgment. Active involvement in daily tasks, such as sharing childcare duties and household responsibilities, can significantly reduce the burden on new mothers, allowing them to focus on their well-being. Partners should also encourage and facilitate time for self-care, whether it’s taking a walk, catching up on rest, or pursuing hobbies. Additionally, partners can aid by being informed about postpartum mental health and recognizing signs of anxiety, ensuring mothers receive the appropriate support when needed. By demonstrating patience, understanding, and a willingness to share the load, partners can create a nurturing environment that fosters recovery and strengthens the family bond.
Creating a Supportive Environment
Creating a supportive environment for new mothers involves fostering an atmosphere where they feel valued, understood, and assisted in their parenting journey. Family and friends can contribute by offering practical help, such as preparing meals, assisting with childcare, or running errands. This eases the daily burden, allowing mothers more time to focus on self-care and bonding with their baby. Emotional support is equally important; providing encouragement and reassurance can help mothers feel more confident in their new roles. Open communication, where mothers can voice their needs and concerns, is essential for tailoring support to their specific requirements. Workplaces can also play a part by offering flexible work arrangements and understanding parental leave policies, ensuring mothers can balance professional duties with family life. Community resources, such as parenting groups and mental health support services, provide additional layers of support, helping mothers connect with others experiencing similar challenges and reducing feelings of isolation.
Resources and Communities for New Mothers
Access to resources and communities provides invaluable support for new mothers navigating early parenthood challenges. Online forums and social media groups offer platforms for mothers to share experiences, seek advice, and find comfort knowing they’re not alone. Many communities cater to specific needs, such as postpartum anxiety, breastfeeding, or parenting multiples, ensuring tailored support. Local support groups provide face-to-face interaction, fostering a sense of community and offering opportunities for friendships with other mothers in similar situations. Healthcare providers often offer resources, including counseling services and parenting workshops, to assist new parents. Organizations like Postpartum Support International offer helplines and directories to connect mothers with mental health professionals specializing in perinatal care. Libraries and community centers may host parenting classes and family activities, providing educational resources and social interaction. These resources collectively empower mothers to access the support they need, promoting well-being and confidence in their parenting journey.
Connect With Sonya Belletti:
- Sonya’s coaching practice: https://paperbell.me/sonya-belletti
Resources:
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Let’s talk motherhood. We all know it's packed with ups and downs, right? But sometimes, that sneaky little voice in your head pushes you to reach for an impossible level of perfection. And who really needs that pressure? This New Year, let’s try something new—more joy, less stress. Imagine giving a nod to what I like to call the B+ Parenting style. It’s all about showing up with pure love and consistency instead of chasing flawlessness. Curious how letting go of those unrealistic expectations can bring more happiness to your mom life? Let’s take a stroll down this path together, and discover ways to craft a more balanced and fulfilling family experience. Ready to jump into a journey that’ll empower you and create a loving environment for you and your kiddos? Let's goooo!
Embracing the Beauty in Imperfection
The Pressure to Be Perfect
We’ve all felt it, haven’t we? The relentless pressure from all corners—ESPECIALLY social media—to be that mom who has it all figured out. Perfect house, perfectly dressed kids, and those gourmet meals. Honestly, it's freaking exhausting, and it’s high time we kick those unattainable standards to the curb. Some time ago, psychologist Donald Winnicott gave us the concept of "good enough parenting."
Basically, it’s saying perfection doesn’t help raise happy, healthy kids. Instead, our little ones just need us to be there, imperfect but constant. Let’s face it—aiming for flawlessness is a surefire way to burn out and emotionally crash. Embracing our imperfections? That's what truly lets us focus on the happy, heartwarming moments that come with simply being present for our children.
Discovering B+ Parenting
What if good enough was more than enough? Enter B+ Parenting! It's a little mental jujitsu that ditches the pursuit of perfect and embraces love, effort, and being there. Striving for that top-tier A+ can ramp up stress levels big time. B's, on the other hand, celebrate the times you meet your child’s needs—more often than not. Let’s get real: Kids don’t thrive on perfect parenting—they need our emotional availability. This mindset allows room for learning and growing from our slip-ups—because, seriously, who doesn’t make mistakes? By letting go and opting for authenticity, we nurture a calming home atmosphere. It’s not just good vibes for you—it’s teaching your kids to embrace life’s messiness and challenges head-on.
The Gifts of Letting Go
Releasing the shackles of perfectionism is like a breath of fresh air—it’s what you deserve and what lights up your mom life. When you stop being so hard on yourself, you make space for raw joy and connection. It's more than feeling good. It's about showing your kids that mess-ups aren’t just okay—they’re part of life’s playbook for growth. Your vibe changes, stress levels drop, and your home feels lighter and more connected. It nurtures self-worth in your little ones and shows them that authenticity trumps all. By oozing acceptance and openness, you're building a fortress of support and fostering deeper family bonds. It’s a recipe for a blissful, family space where happiness trumps any quest for flawless optics.
Embracing Everyday Joy
Redefining Motherhood: It's a Relationship
Let’s reframe this script on motherhood. See it not as a series of chores, but as a nurturing relationship. This tweak in perception nudges you to bond and connect in the everyday moments. Routines are no longer a checklist—they’re golden opportunities to laugh and learn together. Envision each ordinary interaction as a cornerstone to building emotional intelligence and resilience. It’s rooted in being there, reveling in the magic of tiny discoveries, and soaking in the joy of just being mom. When the focus shifts to relationship building instead of task managing, you enrich your parenting journey, one memorable moment at a time.
Simple Steps to Spark Joy Daily
You don’t need grand gestures to light up your days. Joy is found in the small, simple acts that bring smiles to you and your child. Maybe it’s a cozy, shared morning routine or a cherished bedtime story that becomes the highlight. Perhaps it’s those five-minute play sessions that transform the ordinary into fulfilling memories. Practicing gratitude together—wow, what a game-changer! Focusing on what we're thankful for shifts the entire mood to appreciation. Incorporating family traditions or weekly game nights can generate moments of laughter and connection that cement into cherished memories. These little slices of happiness pile up to build a fortress of family joy.
Celebrating the Little Wins
Small wins? Total game changers. Each day, focus on those little victories—spending uninterrupted time with your child, getting laundry done, or even keeping the plants alive. Celebrate them, because they count! The daily nods to those tiny moments build positive momentum. Don’t forget to take deep breaths or pauses and express appreciation whenever you hit a bump. It’s not just about calming the chaos—it’s creating an aura of peace at home. Embrace these small yet powerful acknowledgments; they’ll lift your spirits and set you up for mental vibes filled with confidence and empowerment on your parenting path.
Curating Your Support Network
Building Your Village
Life’s easier with a village, right? Creating this network is like having a safety net when navigating motherhood’s challenges. Friends, family, fellow moms, community resources—lean into these. They provide all sorts of support and camaraderie. Asking for help? It’s not surrender; it’s wisdom. Reach out, whether it’s at a local group, online boards, or community events. You’re forming a safety net of perspectives and solutions that enrich your mom life. Whether it's sharing dinners, swapping childcare duties, or just having a laugh, these connections are treasures that enhance your family's well-being.
Innovative Support Solutions
Support doesn’t have to fit into a traditional box. Host a casual coffee catch-up or playdate and mingle with other parents. Dive into workshops or classes to meet folks who vibe with your parenting style. Online groups can also be a powerhouse of advice and solidarity. Volunteering at schools or local community efforts integrates you even deeper. Consider swapping babysitting or carpool duties with other parents to lighten the load. These creative support avenues not only provide help but also enrich your mothering journey with friendship and new experiences.
The Impact of Connection
Building supportive networks isn’t just essential—it’s a lifeline. Connections bring resilience and that cozy sense of belonging. Through shared experiences and empathetic liaisons, you can shed loneliness and uplift each other through the hurdles. Embracing this community means practical help in times of need and opportunities for everyone to grow. The experiences enrich your parenting, foster friendships among children, and provide harmony at home. Simply put, these connections mark your journey, wrapping your life in a blanket of strength and joy.
Setting Joyful Goals
Creating Kind Goals
Set goals with self-compassion. It’s not just about productivity; it’s about self-care, bond-building, and growth. Identify what nurtures you—be it relaxation time, a new hobby, or emotional growth. Make self-care a top spot on your list, which makes you unshakeable for your family. Want more connection with your kids? Set a weekly date or ensure daily heart-to-heart moments. Sprinkle in goals for personal growth, too—maybe a skill to learn or a book to devour. Framing your resolutions with kindness? That's where magic happens, fueling joy while tending to you and your loved ones.
Daily HABITS for Joy
Construct daily habits to chase those compassionate goals and amp up joy. Start your day with things like journaling, prayer, or a walk. These ground your thoughts and ward off stress. Mindful moments, with deep breaths and focused attention, peppered through your day, can keep you centered. Knock off small tasks and rejoice in the wins to build up your motivation. Reflect on your day’s achievements each evening—the key is focusing on victories, no matter how tiny. This routine not only boosts your joy but models sparkling habits for your children to adopt.
Reflect and Flex
Consistent reflection and adaptability are the secret sauce for nurturing joyful resolutions. Regular check-ins let you evaluate how far you’ve come, drop misplaced expectations, and celebrate your awesomeness. Monthly reviews are a chance to adjust your sails, embracing life’s changes with open arms. Where are you thriving? What needs tweaking? Life’s unpredictable—kick rigidity to the curb, and let flexibility guide you. Adjust those goals, keep them in line with what truly brings you joy, and boom! Your resolutions remain your north star, guiding you to long-lasting happiness and well-being.
Charge Into the Future with Confidence
Embrace the Journey Ahead
Motherhood’s journey is always evolving. Each day holds an opportunity to connect deeper and grow stronger. Cherish the process and embrace lessons learned along the way. Challenges aren’t setbacks—they’re stepping stones that deepen your development. As you engage with your little ones, treasure the present, marvel at their growth, and practice self-kindness when imperfections surface. If I haven't said it enough, celebrate those tiny wins—they lay the bedrock for mom life successes. Embrace the chaos and fluidity of parenting with a heart ready for new adventures.
Every mother has her own extraordinary path, influenced by her values and experiences. Claim your individuality and the unique choices you make. The mom next door isn’t your journey. Keeping the wins close in your mind let's them remind you of your progress. Sharing your stories strengthens the bonds within your support network, inspiring others to embrace their unique stories too. Focus on your strengths and growth—it’s that vibrant, joyful environment that reflects your core values, turning your motherhood journey into an exquisite tapestry.
HEAD Into a Joy-Filled Year
Ready for an exhilarating year ahead? Picture this stretch as an opportunity to fill your motherhood adventure with laughter and love. Set intentions anchored in well-being and joy for the whole family—making room for life’s surprises. Consider fresh adventures or create traditions to enrich your family’s life and cement lasting memories. Approach every curveball as a stepping stone for growth, a lesson in life’s school. With optimism as your compass and an open heart as your guide, the year unfolds with happiness, connection, and confident navigation through motherhood.
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You ever feel like motherhood turned your world upside down? Like, you're not the same person you were before? Yep there's a word for that! It's called matrescence, and it's basically a HUGE identity shift that happens when you become a mom. Kinda like how teenagers go through those awkward years, but with way more spit-up and way less eyeliner (hopefully!).
Matrescence is like a rebirth, a total transformation that affects you on every level: physically, emotionally, and even how you see the world. It's like stepping into a whole new dimension where YOU are the main character, but also, you're responsible for these tiny humans who rely on you for everything. Talk about pressure!
This shift can be super intense because it's not just about changing diapers and singing lullabies. It's about figuring out who you are NOW, in this new role, and how to balance all the different parts of yourself. It's like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle...on a tightrope...over a pit of alligators. (Okay, maybe not THAT intense, but you get the idea!)
My Chat with Sarah Sterling: A Fellow Mom and Parenting Coach
I recently had a heart-to-heart with Sarah Sterling, a parenting coach and mama of two who totally gets it. She shared her own experiences with matrescence, and let me tell you, it was like looking in a mirror!
Sarah's journey was full of ups and downs, just like mine. She had to deal with the NICU when her first baby was born, which is scary stuff. But with her second, she felt this amazing burst of creativity and self-discovery. It just goes to show that every motherhood experience is unique, and there's no "one size fits all" approach.
The Maternal Wall: When Motherhood Feels Like a Cage
One thing that really resonated with me was Sarah's talk about the maternal wall. It's this invisible barrier that society puts on moms, with all these expectations and limitations. It's like, "Oh, you're a mom now? Well, you can't have a career AND be a good parent. You have to choose! Or the opposite of that like you MUST do it all!"
The maternal wall can make you feel trapped, like you're losing your identity and your choices. It's like being stuck in a maze where every path leads to a dead end. But Sarah reminded me that we have the power to break down those walls and create our OWN paths.
Finding Your Voice: Speak Up, Mama!
Sarah's advice? Use your voice! Don't be afraid to speak up for what you need and want. It's easy to get caught up in taking care of everyone else, but you deserve to be heard too.
Sarah shared how she started an anonymous Twitter account to vent about the struggles of motherhood. It was her way of letting it all out, without feeling judged. And guess what? It led her to discover her passion for writing and becoming a parenting coach! So, you never know what amazing things can happen when you start using your voice.
Self-Compassion and Letting Go: The Keys to Freedom
Motherhood can be a wild ride, and it's easy to get overwhelmed. That's why self-compassion is SO important. Don't beat yourself up if things don't go perfectly. We're all just doing our best, right?
Sarah also stressed the importance of letting go. It's okay to ask for help, to delegate tasks, and to trust that others can do things their own way. It doesn't have to be perfect; it just has to get done. And when you let go of some of that control, you create space for more joy and freedom in your life.
Finding the Joy in the Journey: It's Not Just About the Destination
It's easy to get caught up in the "what's next?" of motherhood. Like, "I'll be happy when my baby sleeps through the night," or "I'll feel like myself again when they start school." But we are reminded that it's not just about the destination; it's about enjoying the journey.
Find the joy in the everyday moments, even the messy ones. Embrace the chaos, the laughter, the tears, and the triumphs. Because THIS is your life, mama, and it's happening right now.
You've Got This, Mama!
Matrescence is a journey of self-discovery, a chance to become an even stronger, more amazing version of yourself. It's not always easy, but it's SO worth it.
So, embrace the identity shift. Find your voice, practice self-compassion, and let go of the need for control. And most importantly, remember that you are not alone. We're all in this together, navigating the wild and wonderful world of motherhood.
Resources:
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Becoming a Mom: It's Like, a Total Identity Shift!
You ever feel like motherhood turned your world upside down? Like, you're not the same person you were before? Yep, there's a word for that! It's called matrescence, and it's basically a HUGE identity shift that happens when you become a mom. Kinda like how teenagers go through those awkward years, but with way more spit-up and way less eyeliner (hopefully!).
Matrescence is like a rebirth, a total transformation that affects you on every level: physically, emotionally, and even how you see the world. It's like stepping into a whole new dimension where YOU are the main character, but also, you're responsible for these tiny humans who rely on you for everything. Talk about pressure!
This shift can be super intense because it's not just about changing diapers and singing lullabies. It's about figuring out who you are NOW, in this new role, and how to balance all the different parts of yourself. It's like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle...on a tightrope...over a pit of alligators. (Okay, maybe not THAT intense, but you get the idea!)
My Chat with Sarah Sterling: A Fellow Mom and Parenting Coach
I recently had a heart-to-heart with Sarah Sterling, a parenting coach and mama of two who totally gets it. She shared her own experiences with matrescence, and let me tell you, it was like looking in a mirror!
Sarah's journey was full of ups and downs, just like mine. She had to deal with the NICU when her first baby was born, which is scary stuff. But with her second, she felt this amazing burst of creativity and self-discovery. It just goes to show that every motherhood experience is unique, and there's no "one size fits all" approach.
The Maternal Wall: When Motherhood Feels Like a Cage
One thing that really resonated with me was Sarah's talk about the maternal wall. It's this invisible barrier that society puts on moms, with all these expectations and limitations. It's like, "Oh, you're a mom now? Well, you can't have a career AND be a good parent. You have to choose! Or the opposite of that like you MUST do it all!"
The maternal wall can make you feel trapped, like you're losing your identity and your choices. It's like being stuck in a maze where every path leads to a dead end. But Sarah reminded me that we have the power to break down those walls and create our OWN paths.
Finding Your Voice: Speak Up, Mama!
Sarah's advice? Use your voice! Don't be afraid to speak up for what you need and want. It's easy to get caught up in taking care of everyone else, but you deserve to be heard too.
Sarah shared how she started an anonymous Twitter account to vent about the struggles of motherhood. It was her way of letting it all out, without feeling judged. And guess what? It led her to discover her passion for writing and becoming a parenting coach! So, you never know what amazing things can happen when you start using your voice.
Self-Compassion and Letting Go: The Keys to Freedom
Motherhood can be a wild ride, and it's easy to get overwhelmed. That's why self-compassion is SO important. Don't beat yourself up if things don't go perfectly. We're all just doing our best, right?
Sarah also stressed the importance of letting go. It's okay to ask for help, to delegate tasks, and to trust that others can do things their own way. It doesn't have to be perfect; it just has to get done. And when you let go of some of that control, you create space for more joy and freedom in your life.
Finding the Joy in the Journey: It's Not Just About the Destination
It's easy to get caught up in the "what's next?" of motherhood. Like, "I'll be happy when my baby sleeps through the night," or "I'll feel like myself again when they start school." But we are reminded that it's not just about the destination; it's about enjoying the journey.
Find the joy in the everyday moments, even the messy ones. Embrace the chaos, the laughter, the tears, and the triumphs. Because THIS is your life, mama, and it's happening right now.
You've Got This, Mama!
Matrescence is a journey of self-discovery, a chance to become an even stronger, more amazing version of yourself. It's not always easy, but it's SO worth it.
So, embrace the identity shift. Find your voice, practice self-compassion, and let go of the need for control. And most importantly, remember that you are not alone. We're all in this together, navigating the wild and wonderful world of motherhood.
Resources:
- Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
- Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
Connect with Sarah:
- Instagram: parenting presently
- Website: parentingpresently.com
Motherhood is a wild ride, isn't it? In our latest podcast episode, we dove deep into the real challenges of modern parenting. From postpartum anxiety to the relentless pursuit of perfection, we covered it all.
Want to know more?
- Listen to the podcast episode:
- Check out the blog post: https://jessicacampbellco.com/blog/9000/motherhood-mental-health-and-humor-thriving-through-the-struggles
Let's connect and support each other on this crazy journey of motherhood. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
Let’s be real—working from home with kids in the house isn’t the glamorous, Instagram-worthy dream people might imagine. It’s a chaotic cocktail of deadlines, snack demands, video meetings, and the unrelenting question: “Can I have another snack?” If that’s your life, too, then you know: balancing full-time work with full-time motherhood is messy, unpredictable, and utterly exhausting.
AND it can be incredibly rewarding.
A Day in the Life: Chaos Meets Creativity
Kat has been in digital marketing for over a decade, working with agencies and running her own social media business. Now, she’s a full-time copywriter crafting campaigns and content while raising two young kids at home. Her oldest just turned four, and her youngest is two—a duo full of energy, opinions, and mischief.
Her mornings start with a quiet corner and a cup of coffee. Her job involves creating order from creative chaos, her home life is a different kind of juggling act.
The Magic of Morning Moments
Kat swears by the importance of mornings. The first hour of the day can set the tone for everything that follows. For her, that means being fully present in her businesses well before the kids wake up. And whether it’s snuggling on the couch or chatting over breakfast, small moments create a sense of connection.
It also helps her establish the day’s rhythm. When having dedicated time with the kids, transitioning into “work mode” for the next phase becomes a little easier. And yes, getting dressed—even if it’s just jeans and an oversized sweater—is part of the strategy. It’s amazing how putting on something other than pajamas can trick the brain into productivity.
Schedules Are A Lifeline—Until They’re Not
As any mom knows, schedules are only as good as the toddlers who ignore them. Kat relies on a loose structure to keep her days manageable, knowing full well that flexibility is key.
Of course, not every day runs smoothly. There are mornings when the kids decide sleep is optional or afternoons when tantrums derail every plan. Kat’s learned to roll with it, focusing on progress over perfection.
Mom Guilt: The Ever-Present Shadow
Like many working moms, Kat battles the infamous “mom guilt.” When she’s working, she worries about neglecting her kids. When she’s with her kids, she stresses about falling behind at work. It’s a constant tug-of-war that can leave any parent feeling drained.
Her secret weapon? Reframing her perspective.
Kat reminds herself that she’s modeling resilience and a strong work ethic for her kids. They see her juggling responsibilities, adapting to challenges, and showing up for them, even on the tough days. That lesson, she believes, is just as valuable as any storytime or playdate.
Celebrating the Little Wins
One thing Kat has learned is to celebrate the small victories. Some days, a win might be hitting a big deadline. Other days, it’s as simple as surviving a toddler tantrum during a client call. Parenting and working from home isn’t about achieving perfection—it’s about finding joy in the moments that go right.
Navigating Boundaries When You're Working from Home with Kids
Working from home while raising young children presents a unique set of challenges—one of the biggest being maintaining boundaries. When your home is both a place of work and a place of play, the lines can quickly blur. Whether it’s a toddler barging into your Zoom call or the constant stream of “Mom, I need this!” during work hours, finding ways to set boundaries that everyone respects is crucial for maintaining your sanity and productivity.
Kat’s journey has highlighted a few lessons that any work-from-home mom can relate to:
1. Set Clear Expectations for Kids
Setting boundaries for your kids may sound simple, but it’s a continual process of communication and repetition. Little ones need to understand that your workspace is for work and that, while you’re still available to them, there are times when you can’t be interrupted.
While younger children may not fully grasp the concept of boundaries, you can still create routines to make it easier for them. For example, having designated quiet time after lunch or during a certain part of the day can help. Creating a consistent routine helps kids feel secure while you focus on work.
2. Create Physical Boundaries
When your office space is in the middle of the home, it can be difficult to maintain separation between work and family life. This is where physical boundaries come into play. If possible, designate a specific area of the home for work. Even if it’s just a corner of the living room or a nook in a shared space, having a distinct area for work can help create a mental shift from “home” to “work.”
If you don’t have a private office, try to set up clear visual or auditory cues that signal when it’s time to work and when it’s time to engage with the family. A simple “do not disturb” sign or using headphones can signal to your kids that you’re in work mode. It can also help if they have a designated space nearby, like a play area, to help them stay entertained while you’re busy.
3. Establish Work Hours and Stick to Them
When working from home, it’s easy for your workday to spill over into family time. Setting boundaries around your work hours helps create a sense of structure. This doesn’t necessarily mean rigid 9-5 hours, but having a clear start and end time each day helps you mentally “clock in” and “clock out.”
For example, you might decide that from 9 AM to 3 PM, you’re focused on work, and after that, you shift to family responsibilities. During work hours, try to minimize distractions and let family members know you’re unavailable unless it’s urgent. When your workday ends, shut off your computer, put away your work materials, and shift your focus entirely to family.
4. Use Technology to Your Advantage
Technology can be a huge ally when setting and maintaining boundaries while working from home. Tools like calendars, task managers, and time-tracking apps can help you stay on task and keep everyone in the loop.
For kids, there are also child-friendly apps that can help keep them occupied for short bursts of time. Of course, technology is not a long-term solution, but it can serve as a helpful tool when you need a few minutes of focus. For work, set your phone to "Do Not Disturb" during crucial focus periods and use apps that block social media or distractions.
5. Communicate Your Needs to Your Partner and Family
Setting boundaries is not just about communicating with your kids; it’s also important to be clear with your partner or any other family members. If you have a partner who is also working from home, it’s crucial to coordinate schedules and share responsibilities. For instance, if your partner is working in the morning, you might need to handle the kids during that time and then switch roles in the afternoon.
In families where multiple adults are involved, creating a shared family calendar can help everyone stay on the same page. Communicate when you need uninterrupted time to work, and check in regularly to reassess what’s working and what’s not.
6. Embrace Flexibility
While boundaries are important, it’s also key to recognize that life with kids is unpredictable. Flexibility is a must when you’re working from home. If a child has a meltdown or something unexpected happens, try not to get too frustrated. Boundaries might need to be adjusted in real-time, but being adaptable will reduce the stress of trying to force things to go according to plan.
For instance, if you have an important call but your child is sick or upset, try to shift your schedule so that you can attend to them without letting your work take a backseat. This may mean rescheduling meetings or rearranging tasks, but finding flexibility in your workday will allow you to handle life’s unpredictability more effectively.
7. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
One of the biggest challenges for many working parents is the pressure to do everything on their own. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a necessity when juggling work and family responsibilities. Whether it’s getting a babysitter, relying on extended family for help, or asking your partner to take over kid duties during important meetings, don’t hesitate to lean on others when needed.
Having support can help you stick to your boundaries and ensure you don’t burn out. It’s also important to communicate that asking for help is a positive step in maintaining a healthy work-life balance for everyone involved.
8. Self-Care Is Key
Lastly, one of the most important boundaries you can set is one for yourself. It’s easy to get lost in the demands of both work and family life, but neglecting self-care can lead to burnout. Make time for breaks, even if it’s just a few minutes to step away from the computer or enjoy a quiet cup of coffee.
Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate—it can be as simple as taking a walk around the block, reading a chapter of a book, or having a brief moment of quiet. Protecting your well-being helps you maintain your energy and focus, so you can continue to be there for your kids and get your work done.
Embracing the Chaos
At the end of the day, Kat has found that balancing work and motherhood isn’t about achieving some mythical harmony. It’s about learning to laugh at the chaos, appreciate the little wins, and let go of what doesn’t matter.
Her kids might interrupt meetings, and deadlines might collide with tantrums, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything. Working from home allows her to be present for the moments she would have missed in a traditional office job. And while it’s exhausting, it’s also deeply rewarding.
For any mom trying to make it all work, Kat’s story is a reminder: you’re not alone.
This journey might be messy, but it’s also beautiful. And you’re doing an incredible job.
Setting and maintaining boundaries when working from home with children requires patience, communication, and flexibility. It’s about finding the balance that works for your family while protecting your work and personal time. Boundaries will never be perfect, but by establishing clear expectations, creating physical and mental space for work, and remaining adaptable, you can navigate the juggle of work and motherhood with more ease—and maybe even a little joy.
What Kat Wants You to Know
If there’s one takeaway from Kat’s story, it’s this: You don’t have to have it all figured out to be an amazing mom or professional. “Progress over perfection,” she emphasized.
Whether you’re building a career, raising a family, or simply trying to make it through the day, Kat’s journey is proof that it’s possible to thrive—even when life feels overwhelming.
Resources for Moms and Marketing Pros
- Project Management: Platforms like Trello or Asana to stay organized
- Self-Care: Journaling, yoga, and the occasional solo coffee run
- Marketing Must-Haves: Grammarly for editing, Canva for design, and Social Curator for social media scheduling
Connect with Kat:
*Trigger Warning: This post discusses domestic abuse and may be upsetting to some readers.
In this candid interview, we delve into the harrowing experiences of Taylor Graham, a survivor of domestic abuse. Her story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and a stark reminder of the insidious nature of domestic violence.
A Deceptive Beginning
Taylor's journey began innocently enough, with a promising college romance. Her partner, a seemingly devout man, painted a picture of a future filled with love, faith, and family. However, beneath the surface, a darker side was emerging.
The Cycle of Abuse
As the relationship progressed, Taylor found herself trapped in a cycle of emotional and physical abuse. Her partner employed a variety of tactics to isolate and control her, including:
- Religious Manipulation: Using religious beliefs to justify controlling behavior and limiting social interactions.
- Emotional Abuse: Constant criticism, belittling, and gaslighting to erode self-esteem and undermine confidence.
- Physical Abuse: Acts of violence, including physical assault and property damage.
The Impact of Isolation
One of the most insidious tactics used by abusers is isolation. By cutting off victims from their support systems, abusers gain greater control and make it more difficult for victims to seek help. Taylor's partner systematically isolated her from friends and family, leaving her feeling alone and vulnerable.
The Power of Awareness
A pivotal moment in Taylor's journey came when she began to recognize the signs of narcissistic behavior in her partner. By educating herself on the tactics used by abusers, she was able to break through the fog of manipulation and see the reality of her situation.
The Courage to Break Free
With newfound awareness and the support of a close friend, Taylor made the courageous decision to leave her abusive relationship. The process of leaving was fraught with danger and uncertainty, but she persevered, prioritizing her safety and the well-being of her children.
The Road to Recovery
The road to recovery has been a challenging one, marked by emotional turmoil and self-doubt. However, with the help of therapy, support groups, and a strong support system, Taylor has made significant progress. She has learned to rebuild her self-esteem, set healthy boundaries, and cultivate positive relationships.
A Message of Hope
Taylor's story is a beacon of hope for survivors of domestic abuse. Her journey highlights the importance of:
- Recognizing the Signs: Learning to identify the red flags of abusive behavior.
- Seeking Support: Reaching out to friends, family, or professional help.
- Breaking the Cycle: Taking steps to leave the abusive relationship and rebuild your life.
- Healing and Recovery: Committing to the healing process and seeking support from therapists and support groups.
Remember, you are not alone. You deserve to live a life free from fear and violence.
Resources:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or thehotline.org
- Local shelters and advocacy organizations that provide legal aid, counseling, and housing.
- Financial and emotional support programs for single parents.
- The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE
- Love Is Respect: https://www.loveisrespect.org/
- The Jed Foundation: https://jedfoundation.org/
Taylor Graham: Snapchat TayG2525 or find her on Facebook
The blog post delves into a recent conversation about parent coaching with Catherine Kelly from Breathe Easy Parenting on the Mom Mentality podcast. The discussion highlights the significant distinction between coaching and therapy, emphasizing coaching as a tool for empowerment and enhancing family dynamics rather than attempting to "fix" parents. It positions parent coaching as a supportive collaboration that helps unlock parental potential through self-discovery and nurturing positive family environments.
In the current mental health landscape, where stress and isolation are rampant, parent coaching emerges as a critical resource. The conversation underscores how coaching serves as a lifeline for parents when traditional support systems like therapy are stretched thin. It further explores the importance of self-awareness, facing personal traumas, and the rewards of conscious parenting in transforming individual and familial well-being.
A crucial aspect discussed is the journey of finding the right parent coach, emphasizing the need to connect with a coach whose spirit and values resonate with one's own. This relationship, often initiated through discovery calls or social media engagement, is foundational to fostering trust and growth. The blog underscores that reaching out for coaching is not about correcting flaws but rather about embracing the continual journey of parenting with openness, empathy, and connectivity.
Read more...
Welcome to the very first post for Mom Mentality! I’m so glad you’re here.
Let me ask you this: How do you feel about Thanksgiving? Really think about it for a second. Because for me, Thanksgiving has always felt like a mix of emotions—a little sweet, a little heavy, and a lot nostalgic.
There’s this expectation that it’s supposed to be all about gratitude and gathering, but let’s be real. The holidays don’t always look like a Pinterest-perfect table full of happy faces and golden-brown turkey. Sometimes, they’re messy, complicated, or even downright hard. And if you’ve ever felt that way, let me just say this: You’re not alone.
Today, I want to talk about gratitude—what it really means, how we can embrace it even when things aren’t perfect, and how it can completely change the way we experience life. Whether you’re in the middle of holiday chaos or just trying to hold it together, I hope this post gives you some comfort, some encouragement, and maybe even a little inspiration.
The Bittersweet Reality of Thanksgiving
If you’ve ever thought, Why does Thanksgiving feel so weirdly emotional?, you’re not imagining it. For a lot of us, this time of year stirs up a strange cocktail of feelings.
On the one hand, there’s this warmth that comes with traditions—like baking pies, watching the parade, or playing board games with family. Those moments are priceless. But on the other hand, the holidays have this way of shining a spotlight on what’s missing.
Maybe it’s a loved one who’s no longer here. Maybe it’s the fact that your family dynamic has changed. Or maybe, like me, you’re just feeling the weight of trying to make everything “perfect” for everyone else. It’s a lot, isn’t it?
For me, Thanksgiving has always been a bittersweet holiday. It reminds me of how much I have to be thankful for, but it also makes me hyper-aware of what’s hard. That’s where gratitude comes in—and not in a cheesy, “just be grateful for what you have” kind of way. I’m talking about the real, messy, life-changing kind of gratitude.
What Gratitude Really Looks Like
Let’s get one thing straight: Gratitude isn’t about ignoring your struggles or pretending everything’s okay when it’s not. That’s toxic positivity, and we don’t do that here. Gratitude is about recognizing the good in your life even when things aren’t perfect.
Here’s an example. A few years ago, I had a Thanksgiving that was—well, let’s just say it wasn’t great. The food didn’t turn out the way I’d planned, the kids were cranky, and I was stressed to the max. By the end of the day, I felt like a total failure.
But later that night, I sat down and thought about the little moments I’d overlooked. Like the way my youngest laughed uncontrollably at a silly joke during dinner. Or the way the house smelled like cinnamon and pumpkin pie. Or even just the fact that we were all under the same roof, together.
Those tiny things? They were enough to remind me that even on hard days, there’s still so much to appreciate. Gratitude doesn’t erase the hard stuff, but it helps you see the whole picture instead of just focusing on what’s wrong.
How Gratitude Can Transform Your Mindset
Here’s the thing about gratitude: It’s not just something you feel. It’s something you practice.
The more you look for the good in your life, the more you start to notice it. And over time, those little moments of appreciation can shift your entire mindset.
Think of it like this. Imagine you’re wearing glasses with a smudge right in the middle. At first, it’s all you can see, and it’s super frustrating. But if you clean them off, suddenly you can see everything clearly again—the good, the bad, and all the beauty in between.
Gratitude is like cleaning off that smudge. It doesn’t mean the hard stuff disappears, but it helps you see beyond it.
3 Ways to Practice Gratitude (Even When It’s Hard)
Okay, so how do we actually do this? How do we practice gratitude when life feels overwhelming? Here are three simple things that have worked for me:
1. Start a Gratitude Journal
I know, I know—this sounds like one of those things you mean to do but never actually get around to. But hear me out. A gratitude journal doesn’t have to be fancy. Just grab a notebook and jot down three things you’re thankful for every day.
They don’t have to be big things, either. Maybe it’s your morning coffee, a hug from your kid, or the way the sunlight hit your window. The point is to train your brain to notice the good stuff.
2. Take a Gratitude Walk
This one’s my favorite. When you’re feeling stuck or stressed, take a walk and focus on what you’re grateful for in the moment. Maybe it’s the crisp fall air, the sound of leaves crunching under your feet, or the fact that you have a warm coat to wear.
Something about being outside makes gratitude feel more natural—and bonus, it’s a great way to clear your head.
3. Share Your Gratitude with Others
Sometimes, the best way to feel grateful is to express it. Send a text to a friend who’s been there for you. Write a thank-you note to someone who made a difference in your life. Or just tell your partner or kids how much you appreciate them.
Gratitude has this amazing ripple effect. When you share it, it not only lifts your mood but also brightens someone else’s day.
You Don’t Have to Do It All
Before we wrap this up, let me just say one more thing: You don’t have to have it all together. You don’t have to host the perfect Thanksgiving or create a picture-perfect holiday season.
What matters most isn’t the decorations or the food or even the traditions. It’s the love, the connection, and the little moments of joy that you’ll carry with you long after the turkey is gone.
So this year, give yourself permission to let go of perfection and focus on what really matters. Embrace the bittersweet moments. Find gratitude in the chaos. And remember—you’re doing an amazing job, just as you are.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going!
I’d love to hear from you. What are you grateful for this Thanksgiving? What’s one small thing that brings you joy, even on hard days? Share your thoughts in the comments or connect with me on Instagram.
Thanks for joining me on this journey. Until next time, take care and keep showing up for yourself and your family.
Ah, the holidays! A time for twinkling lights, warm memories, and the comfort of family traditions. But let’s be real—it's also a time when things can get a little, well, overwhelming. The pressure to make everything perfect can overshadow the magic of the season. If you've ever felt this way, you’re not alone. In this episode of Mom Mentality, we’re diving into how simplifying your holidays can lead to more joy, stronger connections, and lasting memories.
Here’s a casual, heartfelt guide to simplifying your holiday season—without sacrificing the fun.
A LOOK BACK: WHEN THE HOLIDAYS WERE OVERWHELMING
I’ll never forget a Christmas a few years ago when I felt completely buried under the weight of my own expectations. My to-do list had its own zip code, and I was so caught up in finding the perfect tree, making the perfect meal, and organizing the perfect holiday experience that I forgot what really mattered—my family.
That year, something had to give. So, I gave myself permission to simplify. The result? We ditched the elaborate meal for takeout, skipped over-the-top decorations, and leaned into quiet, cozy moments together. We played board games, watched silly holiday movies, and shared a lot of laughs.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was memorable—and isn’t that the point?
The Power of Simplifying
Simplifying your holidays isn’t about cutting corners; it’s about cutting out what doesn’t serve you. It’s about making space for what really matters.
Here are some tips to help you refocus your holiday season:
1. Set Your Priorities
Ask yourself: What truly matters to me and my family this holiday season?
- Is it spending quality time together?
- Sharing meals with loved ones?
- Giving back to your community?
Once you know your priorities, start letting go of the things that don’t align with them.
2. Say No (Without Guilt)
You don’t have to attend every event, bake every cookie from scratch, or buy extravagant gifts for everyone. It’s okay to set boundaries and protect your energy.
3. Simplify Gift-Giving
Instead of feeling pressured to buy mountains of presents, focus on intentional gifts. Consider experiences over things—like a family outing or a personalized letter of appreciation.
Meaningful Family Traditions
Creating family traditions is a beautiful way to foster connection and make memories, but they don’t have to be Pinterest-perfect. Sometimes, the simplest ideas are the most impactful.
Here are a few ideas for family traditions that won’t break the bank—or your sanity:
- Bake Together: Whether it’s cookies, gingerbread houses, or pies, baking together is a sweet way to bond.
- Movie Nights: Pick a favorite holiday movie, grab some popcorn, and snuggle up as a family.
- Volunteer Together: Giving back as a family can bring a new depth to your holiday celebrations. Look for opportunities at local food banks, shelters, or community events.
- Craft a New Tradition: Maybe it’s reading a holiday book aloud, having a hot cocoa bar, or going for a winter hike. Let your creativity shine!
Embrace Joy Over Perfection
If there’s one takeaway I want you to have, it’s this: Perfection is overrated.
The magic of the holidays is in the imperfect moments. The lopsided ornaments your kids put on the tree. The cookies that somehow end up burnt on one side. The unplanned laughter when things go sideways.
Here’s the truth: Your kids won’t remember whether the tablecloth matched the centerpiece. They’ll remember the laughter, the warmth, and the love.
So let go of the picture-perfect holiday you’ve seen on Instagram. Lean into the real, messy, beautiful moments instead.
Practical Steps to Simplify
If you’re ready to simplify your holiday season, here are a few actionable steps to get started:
- Declutter Your Calendar: Look at your commitments and decide what’s truly necessary. Let go of the rest.
- Delegate Tasks: You don’t have to do everything yourself. Let family members pitch in with decorating, cooking, or wrapping gifts.
- Embrace Shortcuts: Store-bought desserts, pre-lit trees, or online shopping can be lifesavers.
- Focus on Connection: Plan activities that encourage togetherness, like a family game night or a walk through the neighborhood to see holiday lights.
🛠 Tools for a Stress-Free Holiday
Simplifying your holidays doesn’t mean you have to give up organization. Here are some tools to help you stay on top of things:
- Holiday Planner: Keep track of to-do lists, gift ideas, and schedules in one place.
- Budget Tracker: Set a budget for gifts, food, and activities to avoid overspending.
- Meal Planning Apps: Save time and stress by planning simple, crowd-pleasing meals.
Remember, tools are there to help, not overwhelm. Use them as a guide, not a rulebook.
Share the Joy
As you embrace a simpler holiday season, you might find that your approach inspires others to do the same. Share your favorite traditions or stress-reducing tips with friends and family. Let’s start a movement toward more intentional, joyful holidays together.
A Holiday Season That Reflects What Matters Most
This holiday season, I encourage you to focus on what truly matters: the love and connection you share with your family. Simplify, embrace imperfection, and create meaningful traditions that reflect your values.
Let this be the year you let go of the hustle and lean into the joy.
Let’s Connect!
I’d love to hear from you! What are your favorite family traditions, new or old? What steps are you taking to simplify your holidays this year?
Let’s keep the conversation going and inspire each other to make this season truly magical.
In this episode, we dive deep into the world of ADHD, motherhood, and self-compassion. Our guest, Ashley Ogbaselassie, a fellow parenting coach and mom of three, shares her personal journey of navigating the challenges of early motherhood and the transformative impact of an ADHD diagnosis.
Early Struggles and the ADHD Awakening
Ashley candidly discusses the overwhelming feelings of inadequacy and isolation she experienced during her early years of motherhood. She shares how the seemingly endless cycle of exhaustion, frustration, and self-doubt took a toll on her mental health. It wasn’t until she sought an ADHD diagnosis for her son that she began to recognize the similarities in her own struggles.
Breaking the Stigma and Embracing Self-Compassion
One of the most powerful aspects of Ashley’s story is her willingness to challenge the stigma surrounding ADHD, particularly in women. She highlights how perfectionism, often associated with ADHD, can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome, especially during the holiday season.
Practical Tips for Navigating the Holidays
As the holidays approach, Ashley offers practical advice for managing sensory overload and setting realistic expectations. She emphasizes the importance of self-care practices, such as mindfulness and meditation, to help moms with ADHD stay grounded and reduce stress.
A Message of Hope
For moms who may be struggling, Ashley shares a message of hope and encouragement. She reminds us that it’s okay to ask for help, to set boundaries, and to prioritize self-care. By embracing our unique strengths and challenges, we can navigate the complexities of motherhood with grace and resilience.
Want to connect with Ashley?
Visit her website www.theguidingwell.com
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
Share this episode with your fellow moms and encourage them to subscribe to the Mom Mentality podcast. Together, we can create a supportive community of moms who uplift and inspire each other.
Hi, I’m Jessica Campbell—mom of three, lover of family connection, and your new go-to friend for navigating the highs and lows of parenting. Let me tell you, this podcast wasn’t born out of a picture-perfect journey. It came from my life—one shaped by ADHD, mental illness, and childhood trauma.
Parenting brought all those trials front and center. But instead of letting them define me, I found a way to grow through them. I learned how to create a home filled with love, connection, and safety—not despite my challenges but because of the strength they gave me.
And now, I’m here to help you do the same.
Why I Created This Podcast
If you’re anything like me, you’ve felt the weight of guilt: Am I doing enough? Did I mess that up? It’s exhausting. But here’s the thing—you don’t have to carry that alone.
The Mom Mentality Podcast is a space to laugh at the chaos, leave the guilt behind, and focus on what really matters: building a connected, loving home where everyone feels safe.
What You’ll Get:
1. Honest, Relatable Stories
I’m not here to tell you I have it all figured out—far from it. As a mom of three, I’ve seen my share of toddler tantrums, bedtime battles, and epic messes. This podcast is a place where we talk about it all—the good, the bad, and the downright hilarious.
I’m not here to tell you I have it all figured out—far from it. As a mom of three, I’ve seen my share of toddler tantrums, bedtime battles, and epic messes. This podcast is a place where we talk about it all—the good, the bad, and the downright hilarious.
2. Practical Tips for Real LifeParenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up. Each episode is packed with tools you can actually use to strengthen 
your connection with your kids. From navigating big feelings to managing your own, we’re keeping it simple, actionable, and doable—because who has time for anything else?
3. A Judgment-Free Zone
This isn’t about fixing your kids or being the “perfect” mom. It’s about creating relationships that thrive—even on the tough days.
This isn’t about fixing your kids or being the “perfect” mom. It’s about creating relationships that thrive—even on the tough days.
Why You’ll Love It
Because you deserve a home that feels like a sanctuary, where guilt is replaced with growth and connection is the foundation. Whether you’re managing ADHD, healing from childhood trauma, or just trying to keep it together during the fifth snack request of the day, you’re welcome here.
Let’s Start This Journey Together
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You’ve got this, mama—and I’m here to remind you of it.
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Parenthood is wild. One day, you’re glowing with joy as your baby coos at you, and the next, you’re googling “why won’t my toddler eat anything but ketchup” at 2 a.m. For some of us, the early years of parenting can feel like an endless cycle of exhaustion, guilt, and “Am I the only one struggling this much?”
Spoiler alert: You’re not.
Let’s talk about what it’s like when parenting feels heavy, the ways it can mess with your mind, and how to find those little sparks of light along the way.
When Parenting Feels Like Too Much
You might have imagined yourself as that parent—the one with the Pinterest-perfect snacks, a spotless living room, and a kid who says “please” every time. But then reality hits, and it’s chaos. Some days, you might find yourself completely drained and wondering if you’re cut out for this.A lot of parents feel this way, especially when juggling multiple kids, working, or just trying to survive on three hours of sleep. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent—it means you’re human.
Why Does It Feel So Lonely?
Here’s the thing: Even when you have family and friends around, you can still feel completely alone. Well-meaning advice like, “Oh, just sleep when the baby sleeps!” or “Cherish every moment!” can sometimes make things worse. You might find yourself thinking, “Yeah, okay, but when do I actually pee in peace?”
It’s easy to assume that everyone else has it together. Spoiler: They don’t. Most parents are figuring it out as they go, just like you.
What You Can Do When It All Feels Like Too Much
No magic wand will make parenting easier (if only!), but there are ways to lighten the load. Here are a few tips that might help:
- Cut Yourself Some Slack
Seriously, give yourself a break. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to do it all. Some days, just keeping the kids alive and fed is a win. - Find the Tiny Wins
On the hard days, look for the small victories. Did you make it through bedtime without tears (yours or theirs)? Did you sneak in a hot shower? Those moments count. - Ignore Unhelpful Advice
Not every piece of advice is worth following. It’s okay to smile, nod, and do your own thing. You know your family better than anyone else. - Find Your People
Parenting is easier when you have a village. That could be an online group, a few local moms who get you, or even a trusted friend who’ll listen without judgment. - Take Care of Yourself
I know, I know—easier said than done. But even five minutes a day to drink your coffee hot (if your into that sorta freaky stuff 😉 ), do a quick stretch, or just sit quietly can make a huge difference.
Resources That Can Help
If you’re feeling stuck, here are a few places to turn:
- Postpartum Support International: A lifesaver for parents struggling with postpartum stuff.
Website: postpartum.net - Parenting Podcasts
- Online Communities: Parenting groups on Facebook or Reddit can be goldmines of support (and funny memes).
- Local Resources: Check your hospital or community center for parenting classes or support groups.
Remember, You’re Not Alone
Parenting is hard. It’s messy, unpredictable, and sometimes downright overwhelming. But you’re not the only one feeling this way, even if it seems like everyone else has it figured out. (They don’t. Trust me.)
It’s okay to admit you’re struggling, and it’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone. Find your people, hold onto those little moments of joy, and I promise: You’re doing better than you think.
At the end of the day, there’s no one-size-fits-all for parenting. It’s about surviving the chaos and finding the moments that make it all worth it. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath and know this: You’re not failing.
You’re just in the thick of it, and you’re not the only one.
Parenting myths have shaped our idea of being a "good" parent, often piling on stress for families trying to find happiness and balance. Misunderstandings, like thinking happy parents never get stressed or mixing up discipline with punishment, can cause emotional damage and prevent a loving family vibe. This guide will break down these myths, offering friendly, research-backed tips to help parents find their groove and boost their emotional toughness. With empathy and a bit of humor, we’ll see how supportive parenting can change family life for the better, helping both parents and kids thrive in a loving setting. Let’s bust these myths together and create a healthier, happier family life.
Myth: Happy Parents Are Perfect
The idea that happy parents have to be perfect creates unrealistic pressure and stress. In reality, no parent is flawless. Chasing perfection can lead to exhaustion and emotional toll. Instead of aiming for perfect, focus on being real and present. Show your kids it’s okay to mess up and learn from it. This builds emotional strength and promotes a caring parenting environment. Happy parents know their limits and put their well-being first, which helps the whole family. Letting go of this myth lets parents practice self-kindness and flexibility, teaching kids essential life lessons. Remember, love, effort, and true connections make a happy family, not an impossible idea of perfection.
Myth: Discipline Equals Punishment
Thinking discipline is only about punishment is a common myth that can stall emotional growth. True discipline is about teaching and guiding, not just enforcing consequences. When parents see discipline as punishment, it might create fear instead of understanding. This can harm kids emotionally, as they might follow rules out of fear rather than understanding important values. Look at discipline as a chance for coaching. Use misbehavior to teach empathy, problem-solving, and self-control. By focusing on supportive parenting, you help kids build internal drive and responsibility. Moving from punishment to guidance fosters a caring family vibe, encouraging kids to learn from their mistakes and grow into strong, confident people.
Myth: Parenting Comes Naturally
The belief that parenting is naturally easy can mislead and overwhelm many. While instincts help, good parenting requires constant learning and adjusting. Thinking you should instinctively know how to handle everything can cause self-doubt and stress. Parenting is a skill that develops over time, shaped by experiences and learning. Accepting this reality allows parents to seek help and resources without feeling bad. By seeing parenting as a learning curve, parents tackle challenges with a growth mindset, building strength for themselves and their kids. Joining parenting groups, attending workshops, or reading insightful stuff can offer useful tools and perspectives. Knowing parenting isn’t just instinctive helps bust myths and promotes a kinder, more supportive approach to family life.
Spotting Emotional Harm in Families
Spotting emotional harm in families is key to creating a supportive environment. Emotional harm can be subtle, often hiding behind well-meaning advice or outdated ways. It includes actions that lower a child's self-esteem or cause anxiety. Signs might include withdrawing, acting out, or not communicating. Parents need to notice these signals and rethink their approaches. Open talks about feelings can highlight areas possibly hurt by emotional harm. By addressing these, parents can shift to supportive practices that boost emotional resilience. A safe, understanding home lets children express themselves, building healthier relationships. Recognizing and dealing with emotional harm is an ongoing duty, vital for everyone’s well-being.
Stopping Emotional Distress
Preventing emotional distress in families relies on open communication and empathy. Set up an environment where everyone feels heard and valued. Encourage kids to share their feelings and acknowledge them, even if they’re hard to understand. This practice builds emotional strength and eases hidden stress. Set clear boundaries and expectations, but stay adaptable to individual needs. Supportive parenting means spotting and positively addressing the emotional cues of both kids and parents. Regular family check-ins can facilitate open communication. Parents should also show healthy emotional management, demonstrating how to handle stress and setbacks. By nurturing empathy and respect, families can avoid emotional harm and its long-term effects, creating a supportive environment where everyone can thrive.
Strengthening Emotional Resilience
Building emotional resilience in kids is crucial to supportive parenting. It equips them to face life’s challenges with confidence. Create a safe environment for kids to express emotions without judgment. Encourage problem-solving by involving them in decision-making, boosting their sense of ability. Teach stress management techniques, like mindfulness or creative activities. Be a role model by showing resilience in your own life. Celebrate small wins and recognize efforts, promoting a growth mindset. Open talks about emotions and challenges enrich their emotional toolkit. By applying these strategies, parents help kids grow a strong sense of self-worth and confidence, enabling them to face difficulties with resilience while maintaining emotional well-being.
Redefining Parental Success
Redefining parental success means shifting focus from outward achievements to creating a supportive environment. Traditional views of success often emphasize things like grades or awards. True success is nurturing emotionally resilient kids who feel loved. Embrace each kid's uniqueness, appreciating their strengths rather than comparing them to societal norms. Success shows in the quality of the parent-child relationship, marked by open dialogue and trust. Encourage kids to pursue passions and learn from failures, showing that growth matters more than perfection. Parents should also celebrate their own growth and approach their journey with compassion. By redefining success, families create a positive atmosphere where both parents and kids can grow emotionally, building lifelong resilience.
Open Communication in Families
Open communication is key for healthy family dynamics. It means creating a safe space where everyone can share thoughts and feelings without fear. Regular, honest talks build trust and understanding. Active listening is vital; it shows that children’s opinions are valued. Ask open-ended questions and empathize with your child’s experiences. Regular family meetings offer chances to express concerns, discuss wins, and plan activities. These talks address issues before they blow up and help keep peace. Communicate openly about your feelings, modeling transparency. By prioritizing open communication, families strengthen bonds and set up an environment where everyone feels supported.
Creating a Caring Environment
Creating a nurturing environment is crucial for healthy family dynamics and kids’ well-being. Start with a home where love, safety, and acceptance are priorities. Promote positive interactions by celebrating achievements and showing affection. Consistent routines give stability and security. Allow kids room for self-expression and exploration, fostering independence. Take part in family activities to strengthen connections. Respect each family member’s individuality. By ensuring everyone feels valued, families nurture emotional growth and resilience. This environment forms the foundation for kids to grow into well-adjusted individuals.
Simple Steps for Improvement
For parents looking to boost family dynamics, small tweaks can make a big difference. Start by setting realistic goals, like improving patience or communication skills. Reflect on your current habits and identify areas for growth. Prioritize self-care to keep emotional balance. Join parenting workshops or explore new strategies. Create family routines that include connection opportunities, like family dinners. Practice active listening to better understand your child's needs. Involve kids in family decisions. Celebrate accomplishments and stay open to change as your family evolves. These steps help parents make a nurturing environment where everyone thrives.
Resources for Ongoing Growth
Access to resources is crucial for ongoing improvement in parenting. Check out books and articles by child development experts. Online courses offer flexibility and can be tailored to specific needs. Joining support groups provides community and guidance. Podcasts and audiobooks are handy for busy parents. Consider family therapy for personalized support. Local centers often host workshops focused on boosting parenting skills. By staying informed and flexible, parents can create a positive environment for their families.
*AI assisted
